


How (Not) To Parent

by Sumomothegoddess



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Alternate Universe - Parents, Babies, Cute babies, Family Fluff, Kid Fic, Light Angst, M/M, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Showki, Yoo Kihyun Is a Little Shit, i think, son hyunwoo is whipped, teenage angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-09-02 07:38:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 32,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16782571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sumomothegoddess/pseuds/Sumomothegoddess
Summary: Whoever said taking care of five rowdy kids was easy can kiss Yoo Kihyun's entire ass.





	1. How (Not) To Wedding

**Author's Note:**

> This story is on wattpad I DID NOT STEAL IT!!   
> THIS IS MINE!

The day Yoo Kihyun married Son Hyunwoo will go down in history as the worst wedding day in existence.

Kihyun insists that it was all Hyunwoo's fault.

Hyunwoo, being the soft kind soul that he was, gratefully took all of the blame.

His first mistake was inviting his ex-girlfriend. Kihyun had scolded him for a good hour on that alone. Jung Wheein was Hyunwoo's girlfriend back in high school. Had she not gotten pregnant with his best friend's baby, he might have been exchanging vows with her instead.

"We're still friends," he explained after Kihyun finished scolding him. "It would've been rude if I hadn't invited her."

"I'm warning you, Son Hyunwoo," Kihyun growled at him. "If she says one thing wrong, I will choke the bitch."

Hyunwoo chuckled at that and kissed Kihyun's nose. "It'll be alright, honey."

If only he hadn't taken that statement as a joke.

The young woman had tried to say that Kihyun "shouldn't have worn white because everyone remembers how much of a slut he was for Baekhyun back in the day" but the second the word "slut" came out of her mouth, Kihyun had snatched her neck and shoved her to the ground.

His best friend, Jinyoung, had heard the entire conversation and proceeded to help Kihyun by punching and scratching at her.

It took awhile for both of their husbands to break up the fight and even longer for them to convince Wheein not to press charges.

"She called me a slut right in front of everybody, Hyunwoo!" Kihyun fussed when his husband complained. "What did you expect me to do?"

"Junior calls you a slut all of time and you two never fight!" he argued.

"His name is Jinyoung and he's a slut too."

All this and the wedding hadn't even started yet.

During the actual ceremony, Kihyun was resisting the urge to shove his ring and bouquet up Hyunwoo's ass.

The minister they hired caught a stomach bug, so Hyunwoo's drunken uncle Eunwoo took control. They had no choice because he was the only one out of the two hundred people there that was ordained.

Kihyun held a firm smile, despite how horribly the old man was butchering his words.

"Kihyun," the man hiccuped. "Tell my dear nephew, 'With this cock, I do we bed."

Both of their faces turned bright red, one in embarrassment and the other in anger.

The crowd of friends and family thought the entire thing was hilarious judging from the roaring laughter coming from them all.

"With this ring, I be wed," Kihyun said through gritted teeth.

"Hyunwoo, now you say-"

"With this ring, I be wed," came out of Hyunwoo's mouth before he uncle could say anything more cringe worthy.

After that, they said their "I dos" and j they didn't think this day could get any worse.

The next disaster, courtesy of Kihyun's lovely husband, went so horribly wrong that Kihyun nearly died.

_Literally_.

Kihyun was just sitting down with his Jinyoung and his husband, Jaebum, when Hyunwoo came over carrying two plates of cake. Their wedding looked absolutely delicious, with its smooth cream cheese frosting and ( _what he thought was)_ fluffy chocolate innards. Kihyun immediately tore into it, taking a large forkful without thinking.

Almost immediately he feels his throat tickle. He tries to cough the feeling away, but the tickle quickly turned into an outright irritation.

His hand shoots out for Hyunwoo, tightly gripping onto his arm.   
"Hyunwoo, baby," he croaked. "What kind of cake is this?"

The elder bends down to check over his husband and gasped at the sight of his face.

Kihyun was starting to break out into dark red hives.

Hyunwoo thinks it over. What could've made him break out like this? They both chose the cake flavour together: A rough mixture of Red Velvet and...

His eyes widened.

  
_Oh shit._

"Ginger," he told him. "There's ginger in the cake."

Jinyoung gasped and punched him on his broad shoulder. "He's allergic to ginger, you fucking moron! Jaebum, hurry up and call an ambulance!"

Kihyun's breathing quickened as he felt his throat start to close up.

"Don't just stand there, Hyunwoo!" Jinyoung continued to snap. "Go get his epi pen from the dressing room!"

Needless to say that when Kihyun was well enough to speak again, he spent all of that energy yelling at his poor husband.

"I thought you said you wanted Red Velvet and Ginger Molasses in the cake!" Hyunwoo explained.

"Why the hell would I ask for something that could _fucking kill m_ e?!" he shouted back. "Honestly do you even listen to me when I speak?"

Obviously the wedding day was over after that. After another hour of scolding and complaining, Kihyun had given Hyunwoo the silent treatment. He expected as much, but that didn't mean he liked it.

"Kihyunnie," he pressed little kisses all over his face as laid in bed. "I'm sorry I messed up this day for us, ok? I'll find some way to make it up to you. We can go to Canada for our honeymoon. That's what you wanted, right? We could go see Niagara Falls just like you sai-OW!"

His rambling was cut off by Kihyun suddenly kicking Hyunwoo's stomach, causing him to tumble out of the bed and onto the floor.

"You can take your sorry and go sleep on the couch tonight."

"But it's our wedding nigh-!"

"Did I fucking stutter? Get the hell out of here!"

Hyunwoo barely dodges the lamp thrown at his head before grabbing a silk pillow and running away.

Kihyun eventually forgave him.

  
It only took the honeymoon trip to Niagara Falls, a shopping spree, and allowing Jaebum and Jinyoung on to tag along.

Since then, Hyunwoo has made it his mission to do nothing but make his husband happy. Even if that means hearing him bring up the "Wedding cake incident", as Kihyun dubbed it to be, at any chance he got to.

It would serve as a reminder to him that he can never mess up any worse than that.

At least, that's what he hopes.


	2. How (Not) To Have Your First Child

Kihyun hissed as he tossed another negative pregnancy test into the trash bin.

What the hell was wrong with him?

All the sex he and Hyunwoo had within the last two days should've been enough to conceive something.

It wasn't as if he was complaining. Nope, no complaints at all. In fact, he was looking forward to trying again.

What he couldn't understand was why their efforts hadn't worked yet. Kihyun comes from a family of very fertile individuals. His great-grandmother once popped out six babies in one go.

Why couldn't he get that lucky?

Though he'd tried to hide it, Hyunwoo eventually figured out that he was trying to get pregnant. He didn't get mad at him. Instead, he went out of his way to make herbal tea, courtesy of their sorta-kinda-good friend Jeonghan, that was said to help with fertility.

"Why the hell would I drink anything from that hippie?" Kihyun growled when his husband set the streaming teacup in front of him.

"He's not a hippie, Kihyunnie."

"He listens to Donovan," Kihyun counters. "The bitch is a hippie."

Despite his reluctance, Kihyun figured that he should at least try it. Jeonghan's fifty kids had to have come from somewhere.

He started drinking it every night before he and Hyunwoo went to bed.

Four weeks passed and the tea was complete and utter bullshit.

All it did was make him sick to his stomach.

And not in the way the couple had been hoping.

Kihyun, after two months of failed attempts, went over to Jinyoung's house for advice. What he got instead was similar to a slap in the face.

Jinyoung was pregnant.

"Can you believe it?!" he beamed at his best friend. "I actually got pregnant this time! Not that adopting Mark was a bad thing. I'm just glad Jaebum is useful for more than just his looks."

They had spent most of Kihyun's visit discussing baby shower plans, names, and Mark's reaction to being a big brother.

Kihyun had been so happy for him that he hadn't remembered the reason for that visit until he got home.

"I'm going to the doctor," Kihyun told his husband when they sat down to dinner. "Maybe they could prescribe me some pills or something."

"Have you considered the possibility that you can't get pregnant?" Hyunwoo asked carefully.

"Remember that hippie's Christmas party last year?"

Hyunwoo froze, suddenly feeling his stomach twist uncomfortably. "Ok, good point."

Doctor Kim Seokjin was his go-to doctor for two reasons and those two reasons only:

1\. Seokjin was a bitch.

It was as if the most savage serial killer fucked a salty potato chip and gave birth to Jin. Every time he come to see him, he had some story to tell. Though, most of them were about his husband and the ugly co-worker that wanted to jump his bones. Finally, he'd found a human being that talked more shit than Jinyoung.

2\. The bitch could keep it real.

If you go to any other doctor and tell them something was wrong with your ear, they'll tell you something was wrong with your foot. Seokjin, the angel that he was, would tell exactly what was wrong with your ear and then scold you about it for an hour.

To put it simply, Doctor Kim got shit done.

Which why he brought his fertility problem to him almost immediately.

Seokjin smiled when he saw his favorite patient sitting in the waiting room. "Yoo Kihyun!" he cheered. "Good to see you, love! C'mon, bring your ass so we can see what's wrong with you."

Kihyun told him about his attempts to have a baby and the doctor listened carefully.

"First thing's first," Seokjin said when he finished speaking. "Those hippie teas are bullshit."

Kihyun threw his hands up. "That's what I'm saying!"

"Second, according to your chart you should be popping out babies like it's 1947. I don't understand what's happening..."

His voice trails off as he tapping at his chin with a pen he was holding. He looks up at Kihyun.  
"Does your husband's cock work?"

"Of course it does!" he squeaks, blushing brightly.

"I'll take your word for it, for now at least," Jin grumbles and scribbles down on his notepad. "I'm gonna prescribe you some pills that are supposed to help with conception. Out of the ninety patients I've given these to, it only failed to work for two of them. If this doesn't help you, get that cock of his checked out."

Kihyun nods happily as he took the signed prescription and pill bottle from the doctor.

Seokjin arches an eyebrow at Kihyun, who had made no move to leave.   
"You're free to go now, you know?"

The patient smirks. "I know. I was just wondering about Namjoon."

Can't leave Doctor Kim's office without "spilling tea", as Jinyoung liked to say.

Jin groans and Kihyun could tell this was going to be a good one.

"Bitch, let me tell you what this dickhole had the nerve to say to me..."

Kihyun felt sick after taking those pills. It seemed like every five minutes he was bent over a toilet. Logically, he stopped taking them, but he was still feeling as sick as a dog.

It was good thing he wasn't working, he didn't want to imagine how many sick days he would've used up.

Hyunwoo didn't worry too much considering that that was the only side effect the medication seemed to have. He took one day off of a work to spoil his wife, which the other didn't want to admit he enjoyed.

"I'm not a goddamn baby, Hyunwoo," he complained as his husband fed him soup.

"Humor me, babe," Hyunwoo whined back. "I hate seeing how sick those pills are making you."

Kihyun's breath gets caught in his throat and he felt his chest clench.

"Kihyun? Are you ok? Do you need a bucket?"

"Hyunwoo, baby," tears welled in his eyes. "I stopped taking those pills a month ago."

It took him a minute, but Hyunwoo managed to catch on to what his husband was inferring. His eyes widened and the biggest smile spread across his face.

"Are we having a baby?" he asked.

Kihyun stood, hope burning brightly in his eyes. "There's only one way to find out. Go get me a pregnancy test."

Hyunwoo waited outside the bathroom whilst Kihyun was taking the test.

"Do you see anything?" he asked anxiously.

"Patience Hyunwoo! And don't get your hopes up."

When Kihyun finally opened the bathroom door, tears were pouring from his eyes.

Hyunwoo was about to sigh, but he got a closer look at the test in his husband's hand.

_Pregnant._

"We did it!" Kihyun squeals and jumps into Hyunwoo's arms. "We're having a baby!"

The happy feeling didn't last long.

Hyunwoo soon realized that a pregnant Kihyun was equivalent to the devil. The poor man actually thought his husband was possessed by Satan.

His suspicions first began when Kihyun said that the baby was craving something sweet, but hot. Naturally, Hyunwoo bought him a chocolate cake.

He didn't expect him to dump half a bottle of hot sauce on it.

It also came as a shock to his system when Kihyun asked for ramen for dinner instead of chicken. He never turned down chicken.

Hyunwoo made the ramen, but nearly threw up when Kihyun put kimichi, peanut butter, and chocolate sauce inside of it.

Kihyun smiled and moaned at the taste. "Baby, you have to try this! This taste great!"

Hyunwoo shakes his head.

Kihyun glared back. "I didn't ask, Hyunwoo! Try the goddamn food!"

He did and it was absolutely disgusting. Since then, he made sure he was never around when Kihyun was eating.

When Jinyoung found out about his pregnancy, he was already five months along with his own.

"How many friends can say they were pregnant at the same time?" he cooed as he hugged his friend. "We have to share a baby shower!"

Jaebum gives Jinyoung a worried look. "I don't know about-"

"Fuck off, Jaebum!" he snapped back. "I don't remember asking for permission!"

The party was held while Jinyoung was on bed rest.

Both Jinyoung and Kihyun were both certain that they were having boys.

"I just know there's a boy in here," Kihyun said when their husbands asked how they knew.

"Well, what if it's a girl?" Hyunwoo said.

He received two identical scowls.

"Nevermind, nevermind!"

For some reason, Jinyoung invited Jeonghan to the baby shower.   
Kihyun was most definitely not happy with this, but he didn't show it.

The long haired hippie had bought them both boxes full of supplies for their children.

This reminded Kihyun of why they kept this guy around: He was filthy rich.

"I packed both wool and regular diapers because I didn't know which one you'd prefer," Jeonghan rambled to the two friends. "And I know how Jinyoung said he wanted to try the baby wrap, so I packed those too..."

Kihyun stopped listening after that.

Jinyoung had his baby a few weeks after Kihyun hit his six month mark.   
He'd called the Son household at four in the morning and Kihyun was at the hospital within minutes.

He stayed by his friend's side throughout his twelve hours of agonizing labor. Jinyoung couldn't get medicine to ease his pain because the needle terrified him.

His baby boy was born after ten minutes of screaming, cursing, and soft words of encouragement from Kihyun and Jaebum.

"4.5 kilograms?" Kihyun gaped when he looked over the baby's chart. "Holy shit!"

Jinyoung smiled down at the baby in his arms. "Baby Jackson is perfect. I hope your kid comes out a hippo."

Jaebum scowled. "I thought we agreed on Jaehyun?"

"Well, he doesn't look like a Jaehyun, sweetie," he reply sweetly, but the malice was still there. "He's a Jackson all the way."

"What kind of name is that?"

"Don't you fucking start this with me right now."

Kihyun hoped the birth of his own son would be as beautiful as Jinyoung's was.

Unfortunately, it wasn't.

Yet again, Hyunwoo takes all of the blame for this.

Kihyun went into labor when Hyunwoo was at work.

He'd called him eight times, but all of the calls went straight to voicemail.

The intense pain of his contractions shot his mind into a blind panic. On the ninth call, he leaves a message.

"Hyunwoo, baby, call me as soon as you get this. The baby's coming, I can barely move, and I'm stuck in the kitchen. Please call me ba-AH! Fucking hell!"

His body tumbles to the hardwood floor and the phone slips from his fingers. Thankfully, it was still within reach.

This time, he called Jinyoung.  
That call also went to voicemail.

Then he remembered that Jinyoung had taken his family to see his parents for a week.

Who the hell else could he call?

Calling an ambulance was out of the question. With how all of their bills were piling up, a hospital bill would only make matters worse.

There was one person he could call, but just the thought of seeing them made him cringe.

He dials the familiar number and gets an answer on the second ring.

"Kihyun?!" a chipper voice says. "How are you?"

Goddamn it, he was already regretting this.

"Jeonghan, I'm in labor and I can't move," he groaned into the phone.

"Oh my word!" he gasped. "Where's Hyunwoo?"

"Do you think I'd be calling your hippie ass if I could get a hold of him?!" another wave of pain shot through him, making him yowl out and into the phone. "Can you just come and help me please?"

"Of course, my dear! I'll be over in five minutes, ok? Is your front door unlocked?"

"No, there's a spare key under the mat."

When Jeonghan came to his rescue, he didn't come alone. He had brought along his two oldest boys, Jisoo and Soonyoung, and his husband, Seungcheol. Why he decided to bring two five year olds to a situation like this was beyond Kihyun.

"Oh dear," he hissed. "Boys, got get me a pot of hot water. Seungcheol  
I need towels."

Jeonghan, while his family got to work, began stripping off Kihyun's pajama pants. He knew this was necessary, but he still twisted away from his touch.

"No," he grumbled. "Stop it."

Jeonghan resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He remembered how labor pains made his mind go fuzzy and pitied the poor man.

"I'm sorry, dear. I need to get your baby out somehow."

Seungcheol and the boys came back with the supplies they'd been ordered to get.

"Thank you!" Jeonghan chirps. "Now, you boys go and watch tv in that other room."

The two six year olds ran out of the kitchen after hearing Kihyun scream again.

Jeonghan turned to his husband. "Get ready, love. We're going to be here for awhile."

When Hyunwoo got his husband's message, he dropped everything he'd been working on and sped on home. If it wasn't for that stupid meeting he was in, he would've actually answered the call.

All he could imagine was Kihyun screaming and writhing on the kitchen floor, soaked in his own fluids. What if he's forced to give birth all by himself? What if the pain kills him?

With these thoughts spinning rapidly in his head, it came as a complete shock when he walked in his house to see two of Jeonghan's kids sitting on his sofa watching something on Animal Planet.

There was no screaming.  
There was no crying.

_Oh my god they died._

"Kihyun!" he called out. "Where are you?"

"Hyunwoo!" he hears Jeonghan's voice. "We're upstairs!"

He runs up the single flight of stairs and rushes into the master bedroom.   
There, on the bed, was Kihyun smiling down at a blue bundle in his arms.

Jeonghan was sitting in Seungcheol's lap, watching Kihyun with a tired smile on his face.

"Is... Is that...?" Hyunwoo gasps.

Kihyun looks up at him. "Yeah, it is."

Hyunwoo slides next to Kihyun on the bed.   
"Is it a boy, like you said?"

Kihyun nods, cooing when the baby in his arms wraps his hand around Kihyun's thumb. "Say hi to Daddy, Hoseok."

Hyunwoo arched an eyebrow at the name. "Where did that name come from?"

"It came from the fact that you let me give birth with damn hippie couple."

"I got caught up in a-"

"I don't wanna talk about this right now. Just know that you're in a fuck load of trouble."

"Kihyun, could you please refrain from such language around the infant?" Jeonghan says from across the room.

Kihyun scowled at him. "Why the hell are you still here?"

Son Hoseok's birth might not have been what Kihyun had imagined it to be, but he was still glad to have him here. With Hyunwoo at his side he promised his first born that he would be the most loved baby and they would be the most perfect parents.

They knew they'd broken at least one part of that promise when Hoseok's first word turned out to be "cunt".

Hyunwoo wasn't to blame that time.


	3. How (Not) To Give Your Son A Sibling

"Come on bunny," Kihyun coos at his nine month old son. "Eat some peas for Mommy."

"No!"

"Hoseok! Don't you wanna be a big boy?" he tries again, pushing the spoonful of mushed peas towards his baby's face.

"No!"

"Son Hoseok," Hyunwoo calls from the kitchen. "Let Mom feed you."

Kihyun frowns when his son started eating his food. "How did you do that?"

Hyunwoo smirks and walks over to kiss Kihyun's forehead. "I'm a super dad!"

"Yeah, yeah, go to work already."

Being home alone with Hoseok was an interesting experience. For a nine month old baby, he was surprisingly independent. He could spend hours on end babbling to his toys or stomping around house. When asked about the stomping, the baby said "Roar! Big bunny monster!"

Kihyun soon realized that he was raising a weird kid.

Whilst washing the dishes, he heard his baby roaring and stomping around.

"Get you!" he screeched. "Big bunny monster!"

"Bunny, who are you talking to?"

"Dunno!"

That was when he knew he needed to get this kid a little sibling. There was no way he could take another day of hearing his baby talking to himself.

"I wanna have another baby."

Hyunwoo nearly choked on his dinner. They'd been silently eating and Kihyun suddenly saying this was a bit more than a shock.

If Kihyun noticed his reaction he didn't say anything about it because all of his attention was on Hoseok and the potatoes he refused to eat.

"What brought this on?" Hyunwoo asked once he'd gotten himself together.

"My poor baby is so lonely here by himself. He needs to have someone to play with," he said, wincing when Hoseok put the food on his head instead of in his mouth.

"Can't you just make more play dates with Jackson and Mark?"

"We see them every day as it is! And besides, Jinyoung is pregnant again!"

He was with his best friend when he had taken the pregnancy test. They had screamed, which scared their children half to death, when the test read positive. A single trip to the doctor confirmed that Jinyoung was five weeks along.

Hyunwoo rolled his eyes. "If Jinyoung jumped off of a bridge-?"

"My crazy ass would jump right after him. If we both survived, I would kill him."

Hyunwoo didn't understand why he had expected a different answer. "Why don't we ask Hoseok? Let's get his opinion."

Kihyun was more than happy to give more attention to his baby. "Bunny! Should mommy have another baby?" he cooed. "Do you wanna be a big brother?"

Hoseok, the two could tell, did not understand what was being asked of him. What he could understand was that his mommy was happy, so he was happy too.

"Big!" he cheesed. "Big bunny!"

Hoseok couldn't say much, but what he did say made Kihyun's heart swell with pride.

"You heard the man, Hyunwoo," Kihyun said, making a face at his husband. "Put a baby in me!"

Hyunwoo sighed at that.  
Kihyun really didn't have any shame, did he?

Kihyun's second pregnancy was more difficult than the last one in more ways than one.

For some reason, his belly formed a lot earlier than it did with Hoseok. Four months in and he already couldn't fit his maternity clothes.

"Damn it," he hissed as he looked in the mirror. "I'll have to do a fuck ton of shopping!"

Hyunwoo, who was entertaining himself by watching Kihyun struggle into his clothes, shook his head at him. "Kihyunnie, you're not that big."

He screamed when a clothes iron was suddenly thrown at his head.

"Who the fuck are you calling big?!" Kihyun screeched. "I am pregnant not fat, you fucking jerk!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!"

Kihyun also started eating more than usual.

One evening he was craving pizza and asked Hyunwoo to buy five large pizzas.

To his surprise, a bit of disgust, Kihyun ate four of them and left the last box to him and Hoseok.

Once he realized what he had done, he started crying.

"Hyunwoo!" he sobbed into the larger man's broad shoulder. "How could you let me eat all of those like a fucking pig?! You should've stopped me, you stupid cunt!"

Hoseok giggled when he heard his mommy say a familiar word. "Cunt!" he repeated happily.

Kihyun scowled down at his son. "Bunny! Now is not the time!"

What really got Hyunwoo worried was when he noticed how tired Kihyun seemed to be.

He would wake up late, sleep when he was in the middle of doing laundry, and wouldn't even go grocery shopping. Kihyun would take two steps toward the front door and feel severely drowsy.

"That's it," Hyunwoo said when Kihyun's eyes were fluttering at the dinner table. "We're going to see Dr. Kim tomorrow."

Kihyun whined. "But I don't feel like it."

"I know, baby, what if the reason you're so sleepy is because of low blood pressure? It could hurt the baby."

That got Kihyun's attention. "You really think so?"

Hyunwoo nods. "We have to be sure."

Kim Seokjin laughed when Hyunwoo explained his husband's worrying symptoms to him.

"Congratulations, Hyunwoo!" he said through chuckles. "Your hubby is pregnant!"

Hyunwoo frowned at that. "Humor me, will you? The last pregnancy wasn't like this."

"Each one is different," the doctor explains. "Because each child different."

Dr. Kim rolled his eyes when the man's frown hadn't let up.

"If will appease his majesty, I will take a quick look."

Seokjin pulled out the ultrasound equipment with an annoyed groan, which Kihyun mimicked when the cold gel was smeared around his bare stomach. Jin put the device on his belly and stared at the screen.

Jin's eyes widened. "Holy shit!"

Hyunwoo and Kihyun jumped at that. "What?" they both asked.

Their reaction made the doctor laugh hard. "Holy shit, Hyunwoo was spot on with this one. I have no idea why I didn't catch this before!"

"What's wrong?" Kihyun growled at him. "Is my baby ok?"

Jin turned to wink at him. "Oh, your babies are doing just fine."

Kihyun sighs with relief. "Oh thank god, I thought I was gon-wAIT did you say babies?"

Seokjin nods, turning the screen towards him and Hyunwoo. "Looks like you two are having twins! Fraternal boys it looks like, since the one on the right looks like he has the world's tiniest noggin."

_Twins?!_ Kihyun felt like he was going to faint.

Hyunwoo actually did faint.

"Shut the fuck up!" Jinyoung squealed when he heard the news. "You're having twins?! Can our husbands please trade dicks?"

When Kihyun told Jeonghan, the stupid hippie just said "I hope you make it to a hospital to this time."

To this, Kihyun intelligently responds with "Fuck off."

He did make it to the hospital, no thanks to Hyunwoo or Jeonghan.

Yet again, he had gone into labor whilst Hyunwoo was at work. Luckily, he sent Hoseok to Hyunwoo's parents when he was put on bedrest. He couldn't imagine the poor baby's reaction to seeing him in pain.

Jeonghan was in Beijing with his family, thank god, so he couldn't call him for help again.

Thankfully, Jinyoung was around when he needed him.

"I'm in labor, babe," he hissed through the phone.

Jinyoung gasped. "Youngjae and I are on our way!"

Kihyun will never understand why people bring their children to situations like this, especially Jinyoung bringing his three month old baby.

Hyunwoo actually witnessed the birth of his children this time. Well, the first ten minutes of it. He fainted after awhile.

The first baby born was Son Minhyuk, who wanted the entire world to know of his arrival. Minhyuk screamed his little lungs out the second he came out.

"My baby," Kihyun cried, weakly reaching out for the boy the doctors took away. "Want my baby, Jinyoung."

Jinyoung kissed Kihyun's sweaty forehead. "Don't relax yet, Honey. You still got more to go."

When the second baby, Son Hyungwon, came out, the doctors were a bit worried.

He hadn't made a single noise.

His big dark eyes just glared at his surroundings.

"What the hell?" one of the doctors said, arching a brow at the angry baby.

"Why the fuck are swearing at my baby!?" Kihyun rasped.

"I'm sorry, it's just that..."

"How about you stop being sorry and do something useful with your fucking time!" Kihyun ranted. "Can somebody wake my husband?"

Jinyoung pulls out a tiny jar of wasabi and scoops some into the unconscious man's mouth.

Hyunwoo woke up screaming just as loud as Minhyuk.

By the time he got himself together, both babies were all clean and ready to meet their parents.

"What's with his lips?" Kihyun asked when he took a good look at Hyungwon for the first time.

"He is beautiful!" Hyunwoo hissed, switching babies with his husband.

"I know that, but still..."

Jinyoung giggled as he watched the two of them interact with the twins.  
"Are any of you gonna call Hoseok and tell him he's a big brother?"

Kihyun sniffed and stared up at Hyunwoo. "I miss my bunny," he cried.

Hyunwoo hands Hyungwon over to Jinyoung, who was also holding a sleeping Youngjae.

"Shit," Jinyoung cursed. "I should probably call my own babies."

When the next day came around, Kihyun's hospital room was crowded with visitors.

Jackson, Mark, and Hoseok stared at the two babies in Kihyun's arms in confusion.

"Baby?" Mark asked.

"Yes, baby," Kihyun answered. "Uncle Kihyun has babies."

"Mommy," Hoseok cheered and pointed at Minhyuk. "Bunny!"

Hyunwoo chuckled. "No, Hoseok is the bunny. This is Minhyuk."

Hoseok then pointed to Hyungwon, who still looked displeased with his life. "Cunt!" he announced.

"Oh my fucking god!" Jinyoung laughs. "He can already tell!"

Kihyun scowls. "Shut up!"   
  
  
  
  



	4. How (Not) To Adopt A Child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Miscarriage Warning

_Kihyun didn't want another baby after his third pregnancy failed._

_It all happened too fast._

_One minute he was anxiously waiting to tell Hyunwoo that he was pregnant again, the next he was staring down at a dead fetus on his bathroom floor._

_That was how Hyunwoo found him when he came home from work that day. Hoseok and Minhyuk were standing outside the bathroom door with tears in their eyes. He could hear his husband screaming on the inside._

_"Where's Hyungwon?" he asked his boys._

_"Wonnie sleeping, Daddy," Minhyuk answered with a hiccup._

_He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Of course Hyungwon would sleep through this._

_"Fix Mommy," Hoseok tells him. "I'm scared, Daddy."_

_"Hey, don't be scared!" Hyunwoo says hugging both boys close to him. "Just go and play in your room for a bit, ok? I'll make sure Mommy's ok."_

_After Minhyuk and Hoseok were out of sight, Hyunwoo knocks on the bathroom door. "Kihyun? What's wrong?"_

_The only response he got was more hysterical screaming._

_He tried to open the door, but it was unsurprisingly locked. "Baby, open the door."_

_"No!" his husband sobbed. "They can't see! The boys can't see!"_

_"I already sent them to their rooms, but they're scared out of their minds. Just let me in, ok?"_

_At the sound of a light click, Hyunwoo sighs in relief._

_When he opened the door the first thing to hit him was a strong odor._

_That's when he noticed Kihyun caked in blood._

_"Oh my god," he gasped, dropping down to the ground and assessing his body for wounds. "Kihyun what the-"_

_His chest clenched and he suddenly couldn't breathe._

_There, resting in Kihyun's cupped hands, was the dead fetus. It looked to be at least thirteen weeks old._

_"I was going to surprise you," Kihyun whispers. "I was just about to tell the boys."_

_"Kihyun, honey, everything's going to be alright," tears start welling up in his eyes._

_"But then I killed her... I killed our baby."_

_Hyunwoo couldn't respond. He could hold the smaller man and provide silent comfort._

_"I'm sorry, Hyunwoo. I'm so sorry."_

They didn't talk about it.  
They didn't talk about having another baby at all.

Despite the gnawing feeling of need Kihyun had in his stomach, the memory of his unborn child was stronger and he couldn't find it in himself to try again.

Kihyun told Jinyoung, they had been friends for so long it'd seem wrong to keep something like this to himself, and the other man cried with him.   
Jinyoung told him that if he wasn't ready to physically have a child, adoption was always an option.

"I should just focus on the kids I have now," he told him. "Three should be enough, right?"

Apparently Hyunwoo didn't get the memo.

Almost two years after the miscarriage, as Kihyun was filling out paperwork that would allow Hoseok to enroll in kindergarten the following school year, Hyunwoo came home with a baby.

Kihyun didn't say anything, he just stared at his husband as he fed the small child.

"What, are you babysitting?" he asked.

"Uh, no," he answered with a soft smile. "I adopted him."

Kihyun drops his pen and his jaw.

Hyunwoo noticed how abruptly he tensed and arches his eyebrow.   
"What is it?"

"Were you planning on telling me? At all?" he growls at him.

"I just did. His name's Jooheon and-"

"I thought I told you that I didn't want anymore kids!"

Hyunwoo looked absolutely stunned at that outburst.

Jooheon jumped at the shout and started to cry.

"But you said that after-"

"I know when I said it and I still mean it! Goddamn it, Hyunwoo did you already sign the adoption papers?"

Hyunwoo looked down at the ground.  
That wasn't a good sign.

"Excuse me?" he snaps. "Can I get a fucking answer please?"

"I..." he croaks, though Kihyun could barely hear it over the sound of the baby's wails.

"Speak up! And don't you fucking lie to me, either!"

"Yes, I signed them, ok?"

Kihyun couldn't find the words to say to Hyunwoo that would show him just how furious he was, so he decided to stand up and walk out of the room.

"Kihyun!" Hyunwoo shouted after him. "Can you let me explain?"

Kihyun sighed and turned back around.

Without thinking, he snatched baby Jooheon away from Hyunwoo and started burping him.

"You have three minutes," he told him. "Go."

"He was born about a week ago," Hyunwoo started speaking quickly. "He belonged to my co-worker's sixteen year old daughter. They can't take care of him, so I offered to adopt him and they agreed."

"That wasn't something for you to decide by yourself," his anger briefly subsided when Jooheon let out a big burp. "Oooh, there we go! Now, don't you feel better?" he cooed.

"I know that and I'm sorry," Hyunwoo said, trying not to smile at the adorable sight of the two of them. "It's just that they were going to send him to an orphanage and I couldn't let that happen."

Kihyun sighed at that. "I understand how you feel, Hyunwoo. I really do."

"Then he can stay with us? Because my co-worker has a bunch of formula and diapers and stuff that he's ready to-"

Kihyun held up an index finger, silently teliing him to shut up. "Well, we don't have much of a choice, now do we? Didn't you say that you already signed the papers?"

Hyunwoo went over to kiss his husband's cheek, but was immediately pushed away. "You're sleeping on the couch for a month. And you're on late night baby duty."

Hyunwoo smiled. "I can live with that."

Kihyun scoffed at that. "You say this like you actually have a choice in the matter."

The boys were happy to have a new brother.

Hoseok loved how chubby his cheeks were. "Baby has dimples, too! Look Mommy!"

"I see them!" Kihyun says with a sigh. He would miss those when the boy grew older.

Minhyuk was already babbling about all the things they would play when the baby was old enough.

Hyunwoo listened politely, though he was sure only Kihyun and his brothers could understand what he was saying.

Hyungwon was just confused.   
There was no baby when he went to Uncle Jinyoung's house, but now there was one. How did that happen?

"Where baby come from?" he asked his father, who went completely pale.

"Uh... They..." he turned to his husband for help.

"Your dad got him from the stork instead of putting him in my tummy," he answered and recieved a nod from his youngest son.

It didn't make sense, but if his mommy wasn't freaking out about it, he guessed that he didn't have to worry about it.

"Welcome to the family, Jooheon," Hoseok announced sweetly, turning Kihyun into an emotional mess.

"Hi, Joohoney!" Minhyuk cheered.

Hyunwoo beamed down proudly at his husband and sons bonding with their newest member. He just knew it would be worth all of the scolding he got.

"Don't look so smug over there," Kihyun snapped. "You're still in big trouble."

"Oooh!" Hoseok and Minhyuk giggled. "Daddy's in trouble!"

That only made his smile widen. 


	5. How (Not) To Tell Your Husband You're Pregnant

To be fair, Kihyun didn't know how it happened.

The kids were staying with the in-laws for the weekend, so Hyunwoo decided to make a date out of it.

One minute they were sitting in the living room watching the second Toy Story, the next Kihyun was slowly slipping out of his favorite piece of silky lingerie in front of his husband.

"Fuck baby," Hyunwoo groaned. "Can't we skip this part?"

Kihyun pouts, which they both knew turned Hyunwoo on even more "Need I remind you that this was all your idea? You wanted a strip show and a lapdance!"

"Can't I just-Ow!" he hissed when Kihyun slapped his hand.

"You know the rules!" Kihyun whined. "No touching! Don't make me get the handcuffs!"

"How is this a threat?"

"Goddamn it, Hyunwoo! Just let me have this, ok?"

In thae end, Hyunwoo had grown so impatient that he used his husband's kryptonite against him: Hyunwoo's huge cock. He had pulled down his boxers just so he slowly and teasingly stroke himself in front of Kihyun.

So, screwing the whole strip tease and taking that cock for himself was what Kihyun felt obligated to do.

Hyunwoo made sure that he used a condom and Kihyun had taken his birth control pills beforehand and afterwards.

So, how the hell did Kihyun end up pregnant _again?_

After what happened the last time he was expecting, he was positive that  
he wasn't able to physically have anymore babies. Even if he somehow managed to get pregnant, like now, he didn't expect to make it passed thirteen weeks.

According to his test, he was nineteen weeks pregnant.

There were two things wrong with this situation.

1\. He and Hyunwoo agreed that Jooheon would be their last child.   
This was one of the rare occasions that the couple actually sat down and talked about the issue. Four kids was more than enough, physically and financially. Hyunwoo's job promotion didn't boost him up _tha_ t much.

2\. How the fuck did he not realize that he was half way through his pregnancy? There was no sickness, cravings, or mood changes. Not even a single kick from the little guy either. Was this kid sick or just lazy?

Oh god, what if it's Hyungwon 2.0?

Despite all of these revelations, he still wasn't going to tell Hyunwoo about this. He knows that his husband was the sweetest bean to ever sweet so he wouldn't get mad, but the strain of having another baby would take a bad toll on his life and Kihyun would be damned if he was the reason for that.

The solution to this problem seemed simple enough: Just get an abortion.

Hyunwoo would never know and they could go about their lives normally.

Kihyun booked an appointment with Doctor Kim once his mind was completely made up.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?!"

He winced when the doctor yelled at him. Maybe seeing this particular doctor wasn't the best idea.

"Do you even know what an abortion is? Do you know what you're asking me to do?"

To tell the truth, he really didn't know how an abortion actually happened, but he knew that it got rid of pregnancies and that was what he needed.

Seokjin groaned and pulled up a video on his computer. "I'm going to show you what an abortion looks like. If you still wanna go through with it, I'll do it. Is that ok?"

Kihyun wished he had said no.

Once the video was done, he threw up into a trashbin. He sobbed quietly whilst protectively clutching his stomach with one hand and covering his mouth with the other.

How could he even think about...?

"You still wanna go through with it?" Seokjin asked, patting at Kihyun's back.

Kihyun shakes his head. "Hyunwoo doesn't want anymore kids," he explained. "What do I do?"

"Maybe talk it over-?"

That idea was shot down immediately.

"I can't tell him!" he continued to sob. "He'll probably make me get the abortion, then I'll have to run away and take the boys with me. But I don't have a job, so we'll have to go stay at my parents place-!"

Seokjin sighed. "Kihyun! Just calm down, alright? You know your husband well enough to know that he would never hate you! Plus, you didn't get pregnant by yourself! Tell his bitchass to take responsibility!"

In the end, Kihyun ignored the doctor's advice and took his own.

He packed his things whilst Hoseok and the twins were still in school.   
It hurt him to leave them behind, but he knew it would hurt more if he stayed behind to have baby that wasn't wanted.

What he couldn't do was leave Jooheon.

He remembered how his baby cried for him when he went grocery shopping. There was no way he could spend months away from him.

So, he packed toys, pampers (Honey was still potty training), and clothes into a tiny turtle patterned suitcase. 

Kihyun left Hyunwoo a simple note, saying that he and Jooheon were going to visit his mother for awhile.

Well, it wasn't a complete lie.

Kihyun grabbed Jooheon from the babysitter's house as soon as he finished writing the note. This took a bit longer than expected since Hyunwoo had their only car. Changing buses was a total pain in his ass.

"Does your husband know that you're coming to get him so early?" the receptionist asked once he got there.

Kihyun scowled at her. "If I want to come get my son, then I fucking will. He better be out here in thirty seconds before I cunt punch every single one of you slut buckets."

The woman scoffs. "No need to get testy, sir."

"Bitch, you don't make me jump across this desk!"

Kihyun storms out with Jooheon gurgling happily on his hip. Those ladies were really testing his nerves today.

Hyunwoo panicked when he saw Hoseok and the twins sitting on the doorstep when he arrived home from work.

"Boys?" he quickly unlocked the house door and rushed the three inside. "Where's your mom?"

"I knocked on the door," Hyungwon answers. "But Mommy didn't let us in."

"Mommy's not home!" Minhyuk concluded.

Hoseok gave a sad sigh. "I coloured a picture for him and now he won't see it."

Minhyuk holds his sad brother close to him. "Mommy's gonna be home soon! Don't you worry, bunny!"

"Hey!" Hoseok pouts. "Only mommy calls me bunny!"

"You're too loud, Hoseok," Hyungwon says from where he was trying to nap in the living room. "Shut up.

Minhyuk gasped. "Wonnie! That's not nice!"

"You shut up, you dumb cunt!" Hoseok fired back.

"Bunny! Not you too!"

Whilst the boys were arguing downstairs, Hyunwoo found the tiny note that Kihyun left for him.

**_"Hyunwoo, please don't panic! I'm staying with my parents for a little while. Don't come after me, ok? I'll be fine. I'll be home in no time._ **

**_P.S. I took Jooheon with me."_ **

Well that only confused him more. Why would he just leave without calling him? And with Jooheon no less?

He called his mother-in-law and she confirmed that his husband and baby son were alright.

"Can you at least tell me why he left?" he begged of her.

"Is it a crime for me to want to see my own son?!" she snapped. "Well? Is it?"

Hyunwoo sighed. What is it with the Yoo family and all their snarkiness?   
Good thing he was used to Kihyun yelling on a daily basis.

"No, ma'am. I'm just a bit concerned is all."

"Well, don't be!" she hung up after that.

He sat silently for a few moments, briefing wondering what could've caused this. They've had little fights and tiffs, but none of them had actually left the house before.

He didn't know how he was going to tell the boys.

"What kind of son did I raise?!"

Momma Yoo was happy to see her son and youngest grandchild, but not under these circumstances.

"I'm sorry for dropping in like this," he muttered as he rocked Jooheon to sleep. "But I got scared."

"That's your husband, Yoo Kihyun!" she continued to rant. "This is something you have to work out together! Running away from home isn't going to solve any problems, you coward!"

After another hour of scolding, Kihyun calls Jinyoung, hoping for at least a little bit of support.

"Babe," he sighed when his friend answered the phone. "I'm pregnant again."

"Ok, we've got to stop this," he giggled. "I'm pregnant too! Officially fourteen weeks, what about you?"

"I think I'm close to twenty-!"

Jinyoung's, obviously, offended gasp cuts him off. "Why didn't you tell me you were that far along?! I thought we were friends!"

"I just found out! This baby literally came out of the sky," Kihyun explained. "And... I ran away."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Kihyun explained everything from his talk with Hyunwoo to him running away with Jooheon. He wanted to get a least a tiny bit of sympathy from his friend.

Well, that wasn't happening.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?!" Jinyoung screamed into the phone.

"How could you just up and leave your children like that? Do you know how they're gonna feel when they realize you only left with Jooheon?"

He took Kihyun's silence as a "No, because I don't think things."

"You know Minhyuk is a Mommy's boy! He's gonna feel you just abandoned him! Which, you actually did."

"No!"Kihyun screamed back. "I'm coming back home as soon as the baby's born. I would never abandon my babies!"

Jinyoung scoffed. "That's not what it sounds like to me."

Months passed and Kihyun still hadn't come home.

Hyunwoo missed him terribly, but at least he could talk to him and Jooheon on the phone every night.

Whenever he asked his husband why he left, Kihyun would find some way to change the subject. Eventually, he stopped asking.

One night, while he was doing the laundry, he could hear Minhyuk crying in the bedroom he shared with his brothers.

He peeks into the room and sees Hoseok and Hyungwon cuddling with him on his bed.

"Don't cry, Minnie," Hoseok says, rubbing at his little brother's back. "You're Mommy's big boy, remember?"

"Yeah, if you keep crying," Hyungwon adds. "Mommy's not gonna come home."

"My mommy doesn't love me any more," Minhyuk sobbed. "He can't come home 'cause he doesn't want me!"

That was when Hyunwoo knew that he had to bring Kihyun back home. There was no way any son of his was going to think that he was unwanted.

For the first time out of the twelve years of their marriage, Hyunwoo was furious with Kihyun.

He, reluctantly, dropped the boys off at a babysitter's house.

Minhyuk wasn't happy with this plan. "Daddy wants to leave me to!" he screamed and threw a shoe at Hyunwoo.

"No, Minhyuk, I'm going to get Mommy and Honey."

Kihyun's jumps when he hears loud banging at his mother's door at midnight.

"Who the hell is knocking at my door like a fucking lunatic," Kihyun's mother swore and stomped towards the front door. She looks through the peephole and groans. "Sweetie, it's your hubby!"

Kihyun's blood ran cold.

Hyunwoo couldn't be here. He still needed more time.

"Fix this, now!" she growled. "I'm going back to bed."

Kihyun carefully shuts the guestroom's door and drags his feet to the living room.

Sitting on the couch wearing an uncharacteristically angry face was Hyunwoo, the man he'd run away from.

Just seeing him there made him shiver.

"What are you doing here?" he whispered, making Hyunwoo's head shoot up.

"I came for a fucking tea party," he growled. "Why do you think I'm here?"

Kihyun's eyes widened and he coward a bit. The last time he heard his husband cursed like that was back in high school.

"You and my son are coming back home, _now_."

Kihyun shook his head. "No, baby I can't. I need-"

"Tell me why," Hyunwoo pressed on. "You tell me what gives you the right to take my son and run away like this?"

"I can't-!"

"What reason do you have for making our children feel like they aren't wanted? Is it worth it knowing that Minhyuk cries every night, asking me why his mommy doesn't love him anymore?!"

Kihyun's heart broke. "No, he wouldn't say that."

"And how the hell would you know? You weren't there!"

"Don't yell at me, Hyunwoo!"

Hyunwoo runs a frustrated hand through his hair and takes in a deep breath. "After what you put my boys through, me yelling at you is least of your concerns."

"They're my boys, too."

"You don't act like it!"

"What did I say about yelling?!"

There argument stop when a high pitched wail pierces through the air.  
It was coming from the bedroom Kihyun had emerged from.

Hyunwoo didn't recognize the voice.

Judging by the fear in Kihyun's eyes, he wasn't supposed to.

Before Hyunwoo could ask any questions, Kihyun ran to the source of the noise.

When he came back, he was holding a tiny infant, who was squirming angrily in his arms.

Hyunwoo stared at the baby, trying to figure out who he was. He could clearly see Kihyun's features on him, that much was obvious. If this was Kihyun's baby, why would he hide him?

"Is he mine?" he asked.

Kihyun glared at him. "How could you ask me that?"

"You ran away for a reason."

"I was pregnant, Hyunwoo," he finally started to explain. "You said that you didn't want anymore kids. So, I thought you wouldn't want him. I went to get an abortion, but I-"

"Stop!"

Kihyun's mouth shut at the sharp command.

Hyunwoo steps towards him, looming over him and the baby with nothing but fury in his eyes.

"You tried to kill our child? Without telling me? How could you be so damn selfish?"

The baby starts crying again, this time it's in fear of Hyunwoo's voice.

"No," Kihyun cooed down at him. "Don't cry, baby. It's alright."

"Give him to me," Hyunwoo orders, smiling when the baby is placed in his arms.

He rocks him and begins to softly sing to him.

" _Scars that seem to come from nowhere build up_  
 _And my heart shakes from the wind_  
 _But this is not an uneasiness I hold alone_  
 _I'm sure everyone else is just as anxious_

_But even in a dark, long and cold night, it's okay_   
_Because when the morning and the sun comes_   
_It will be blindingly bright."_

Kihyun didn't recognize the song, but he still fell in love with the way Hyunwoo sang.

Their baby seemed to like it as well. His cries softened to light coos and he eventually fell asleep.

"What's his name?" Hyunwoo asked.

"Changkyun, he's a couple months old."

Hyunwoo repeated the name softly, quietly deciding that it fit the tiny boy.

"Hyunwoo," Kihyun whispers, wiping stray tears from his face. "I'm sorry."

"I don't understand why you would think that I would make you get rid of our child?" Hyunwoo mutters more to himself than to Kihyun. "Yes, we agreed on no more kids, but when this little guy plops into our laps we both have to take responsibility."

"I know that and I'm sorry."

"I know, and I'll forgive you if you bring both of our sons home and tell our boys at home that you love them."

Kihyun was scared to see his eldest boys the following evening.

Would they be angry with him?

Did they miss him as much as Hyunwoo said they did?

Hyunwoo dropped Kihyun, Jooheon, and Changkyun off at home whilst he went to grab the boys from the babysitter's.

Jooheon was asleep in his bed upstairs and Changkyun was making a little fuss.

These new surroundings were strange and he had no idea how to feel about that.

"Hey," Kihyun pouts down at him. "What's got you so upset?"

Changkyun makes a fist and grunts angrily.

"God, you remind of Hyungwon."

The first voice Kihyun hears is Minhyuk's and it almost brought him to tears. If he didn't regret leaving yet, he did now.

Minhyuk's little eyes widened when he saw Kihyun sitting on the couch.   
"Mommy!" he squeals and runs over to him.

Kihyun quickly, but carefully, sets Changkyun on the other side of his body before Minhyuk could crush him. He holds onto him tightly when the little boy jumps into his arms.

"Sorry, Mommy," Minhyuk spoke quickly. "I promise I will be a big boy and not make big messes and stuffs. And I'll eat all of my spinach! So, will you love me again?"

Kihyun kissed the top of his head, his forehead, his chubby cheeks, and anywhere else he could reach.  
"I'll always love my Minhyukkie, ok? No matter how many messes you make. You're still my baby."

Hoseok comes in next and slides into Kihyun's hold with his little brother.

"I missed you, Mommy," he mumbled.

"I missed my bunny, too. I'm sorry I was away for so long."

There was still one child left, but he didn't make any move towards Kihyun. Hyungwon hid behind Hyunwoo's legs and glared at him.

"Wonnie!" Minhyuk called back to his twin. "Mommy's home!"

"Mommy made Minhyuk cry," he hissed. "Hate Mommy."

"Now, don't say that," Hyunwoo scolded as he scooped Hyungwon into his arms. "The only reason your mom left was to have a baby."

That's when the three children noticed baby Changkyun scowling at them all.

Minhyuk looked puzzled. "That's not Joohoney!" he observed.

Kihyun giggled at him. "No, this is Mommy's new baby. His name is Changkyun."

"He looks like a puppy!" Hoseok cheers.

Hyungwon didn't comment on Changkyun's presence, though he did seem a bit intrigued by it.

"Baby brother is not a puppy!" Minhyuk complained.

"But look at him!"

Whist the eldest two argued, Kihyun heard a loud shout of "Mommy!" come from upstairs.

Looks like Jooheon was awake.

"Can you watch the boys while I get Jooheon?" Kihyun asked Hyunwoo, who nodded at him.

"But Kihyun?" he called out just as he began to ascend up the steps.

Kihyun turned around. "Yeah, babe?"

"Don't ever leave me again, ok?"

The serious expression on his husband's face was one Kihyun never wanted to see again.

All the yelling back and forth they had done scared him and he was willing to do anything to make sure that it never happened again.

Kihyun nods at Hyunwoo, mimicking his expression. "I'll never leave you again."

"Mommy!"

And just like that, the moment was gone.

Kihyun rolled his eyes. "Be patient, Honey! I'm coming!" 


	6. Honey's First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter...
> 
> Hoseok is seven years old.  
> Minhyuk and Hyungwon are six years old.  
> Jooheon is four years old.  
> Changkyun is one year old.

To say that he was scared was the ultimate understatement.

His heart was pounding out of his chest and he tightly clenched a light blue lunchbox in his hand.

It was the first day kindergarten and Kihyun was not ready.

"Hyunwoo!" he cries as he packed school supplies into his youngest son's backpack. "You can't let them take my baby away!"

Hyunwoo, who had heard this speech when the other three boys started school, wasn't moved by this hysteric display.

"It's only kindergarten, Kihyun," Hyunwoo sighs as Jooheon does a funny dance.

Jooheon was excited about going to school. His big brothers went to school all the time, so he was ready to see what this place is all about!

"He's only a baby!" Kihyun continues to cry. "He's supposed to stay in my arms forever until I turn to dust and die!"

"What are you going to do when it's Changkyun's turn?"

Kihyun gasps, offended by that statement, and turns to his youngest son.

Changkyun was sitting in his highchair, impatiently waiting for his breakfast. He was not a happy baby today.

Then again, he's never been a happy baby.

"You are never going to school!" Kihyun shouts at him. "Do you hear me, Son Changkyun? Over my dead body will you leave me!"

Changkyun makes grabby hands at the Lucky Charms that was sitting on the counter beside Mommy. His tummy is doing the rumbling thing and that is never a fun time.

"Can you feed him after you're done yelling at him?" Hyunwoo sets the cereal box in front of the baby, who takes initiative and dumps most of its contents on his makeshift table.

Jooheon smiles at his mother, flashing his cute dimples his way. "Mommy! I'm going to school like a big boy!"

Kihyun drops to his knees and sobs into Jooheon's shirt.

"You don't have to be a big boy!" he ignores Hyunwoo's laugh. "Just stay home with me!"

Jooheon kisses Kihyun's face. "Bye bye! I see you later!"

Kihyun then crawls over to his husband. "If you love me, you won't take my baby away."

Hyunwoo just smiles and grabs Jooheon's lunchbox. "We'll see you later, babe."

Despite Kihyun's desperate measures, he made a couple sad attempts to kidnap Jooheon and trap him in his bedroom, Hyunwoo and Jooheon walked out the door.

Kihyun looks at Changkyun.   
"I guess it's just us now, Kyunnie. Why don't we watch some Good Doctor, eh?"

Changkyun huffs as he stuffs a fistful of rainbow marshmallows in his mouth.

There were no more red balloons and Mommy wanted to watch television. Where were his priorities?

"Oh, cheer up," Kihyun tells him. "We could watch Spongebob too."

He yelps when a clover marshmallow is chucked at his head. "Shit, ok! No Spongebob then." 

Jooheon couldn't wait to get to school! It wasn't the same school as Minhyuk or Hoseok, Daddy told him that he would go there next year, but he was still excited about it.

He was so excited that he was bouncing in his seat. "Honey goes to school! Honey goes to school!" he chanted out loud.

Hyunwoo laughs at him. "I can you're gonna be the teacher's favorite."

His dad had taken him to meet his teacher the day before.

She was a tall lady with long black hair and big glasses.

At first, Jooheon was too shy to speak, but then she brought his favorite topic: Monkeys.

After that it was hard to get him to stop talking.

"This is fun!" he beamed at his father, who continued to laugh at his enthusiasm.

"When you get home, why don't you tell Mom everything you do today?"

"Ok!" 

Jinyoung called Kihyun that morning sounding completely distressed.

"Kihyun!" he sobbed into the phone. "It's terrible! My life is over!"

"Babe, what's wrong?" he asked, suddenly completely concerned.

"My baby's gonna go to school!"

Kihyun shook his head. "Yugeyeom still has three or four more years left. Calm down."

"You don't understand! After him, I won't have anymore babies!"

He looks down at Changkyun, who was napping peacefully in his lap, and realized he was in the same boat.

"Goddamn it," tears start to spill from his eyes. "Now I'm sad, too!"

"Can I bring the ice cream?"

"Please do."   
  


When Jooheon walked into his classroom for the second time, he was happy to see a familiar face.

"Woozi!" he cried out, running over to his friend.

The smaller boy was silently playing with blocks before the Honey Tornado arrived. Now, his tower was destroyed.

"Only Mommy calls me Woozi. My name is Jihoon," he grumbles, shoving Jooheon away. "What are you doing here?"

"We're in the same class! Aren't you super happy?" Jooheon cheers.

Jihoon watched as he did a little jig and rolled his eyes.

When he met Jooheon at that one Halloween party a year ago, he didn't think he'd be stuck with him.

It's not like Jooheon wasn't a nice guy, he just didn't know when to stop and calm down.

"Yes," Jihoon says, though his tone told a different story. "I'm happy."

The teacher gathered the children in a circle and took attendance. Thanks to his mom, Jooheon successfully counted twenty-four kids in his class.   
Out of all of them, he only recognized Jihoon and his big brother, Hansol.

Hansol didn't like talking to Jooheon, even called him a dummy head one time. His mom told him to stay far away from that boy, so he did.

The kids were told to color their own farms after attendance.

Jooheon happily drew cows, chickens, and his big brother the bunny.

When he turned to Jihoon, excited to tell him about his picture, he was confused to see the boy tearing up at his paper. It was blank.

"Woozi!" he called out, playfully shoving him. "You have to draw a farm."

Jihoon sniffs. "I don't know what that is," he starts to rub at teary eyes. "I'm a big stupid."

Jooheon gasped. According to his mom, "stupid" was a really bad word.

"That's mean!" he scolded. "You can't say that! I can tell you what farm is!"

Thanks to Jooheon, Jihoon drew horses, frogs, and pigs all over his paper. He also made a mental note to ask his own mom to take him to a farm one day.

Each kid got up in front of the class, explaining their pictures.

They all had the same animals, except this one weird kid named Taehyung. He ranted about how the normal animals were actually monsters in disguise.

The teacher made him stop after he made a girl cry.

When it was Jihoon's turn, he got so nervous that he stood there frozen.

Jooheon started making animal noises to help him out, but he still couldn't say anything.

After a few more moments of silence, the teacher sits him down.

"It's ok, Jihoon," she tells him. "Everyone gets nervous on the first day."

Jihoon scrambled to his seat and hid his face on the table.

Jooheon heard a couple of kids laughing at his friend. 

That wasn't nice!

"Oi!" he growls at the mean kids. "Why are you laughing? You're animals looked like butts!"

He smiled when Jihoon let out a tiny giggle.

During lunchtime, Jihoon and Jooheon sat next to each other. Jooheon babbled on and on about anything he could think of, whilst his friend listened quietly.

"Do you want a big cookie?" Jihoon asked, interrupting one of Jooheon's stories.

Jooheon gasped. When Jihoon said "big cookie", it really was a big a cookie! The chocolate chips alone were probably bigger than this pinkie toe.

"Are you sure?" he asked with both of his eyes stuck on the cookie.

Jihoon nods. "My mommy packed two big cookies, but I can't eat them both."

Jooheon took the cookie and bit into it. "Oh wow! So soft! Thank you, Woozi!"

"It's Jihoon."

When it was time to lay down for a nap, Jooheon made sure to cuddle close to his friend.

"I'm gonna keep the bad dreams away!" he told him.

Jihoon sighed and just snuggled into his hold. It was like he was engulfed in a big blanket and he was alright with that.

Jooheon fell asleep first, surprisingly.   
Jihoon poked at his chubby cheeks until he felt sleepy. 

"Jinyoung!" Kihyun cried out, his phone in one hand and a tub of cake batter ice cream in the other.

Jinyoung had just put a spoonful of strawberry cheesecake ice cream in his mouth. "Huh?"

"Look at what the damn teacher sent me! Honey's cuddling with that hippie's demon seed!"

Jinyoung sobbed. "That's so cute!"

"He's a fucking demon!"

"You know, people say the same thing about Changkyun?"

Kihyun rolls his eyes. "My baby may be grumpy, but he's no Woozi."

At the sound of his name, Changkyun angrily wiggles his legs. These people are speaking when he's trying to listen to Spongebob sing the "Campfire Song" Song.

"See?" his mother smiles down at him. "Look at how happy he is."

"He's still scowling."

"That's his happy face!"

The teacher woke her students up after an hour of napping so they can eat their snacks. She prepared bowls of sliced fruit and tiny cups of a yummy banana smoothie.

Jooheon loved to eat fruit, he was extra energetic when he woke up.

"Woozi, wake up!" he shouts to his still sleeping friend. "There's apples and oranges and lots of peaches!"

"Go away," Jihoon says, turning away from him.

"Woozi! C'mon!"

It took awhile, but he managed to make Jihoon get up. The other wasn't too happy about it.

At recess, Jooheon watched as Jihoon kicked and threw sand all around them. A few pieces got in his eye, but he didn't mind. If Woozi was having fun with it, it was alright with him.

"Hey, Woozi? Wanna make a volcano?"

Jihoon stopped chucking sand long enough to turn around and glare at Jooheon.

"Jihoon!" he snaps. "My name is Jihoon! How would you feel if I called you Honey all the time, huh?"

He hadn't expected for Jooheon's face to turn red all of a sudden.

Jooheon even hid himself inside of his T-shirt.

Jihoon briefly wondered if he made him cry.

He placed a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, Joo-?"

"Honey," he immediately replied.

"What?"

"You can call me Honey, if you wanna."

Jihoon sighed. "Ok, I can do that."

Hyunwoo would say that he was surprised to find his husband and his best friend passed out on the sofa with empty tubs of ice cream surrounding their feet.

But, he's been married for over ten years.

"Hi, Changkyun," he greets his baby, who was laying peacefully in his mother's arms. It looked like his arrival had woken him up.

"Hi, baby brother!" squealed Jooheon.

Kihyun was startled awake by Jooheon's voice.

"Shit," he hissed. "I need to get the boys from Jihyun's house!"

He shoves Jinyoung awake. "Don't you have your own children to take care of?"

"Jaebum's got the day off," he grumbles. "Daddy needs to spend more time with his babies."

Hyunwoo shook his head. "I'll grab the boys, don't worry. Besides, Jooheon wants to tell you all about his first day at school."

Kihyun's face paled. "No," he gasped. "This is happening too fast!"

Jooheon hops into Jinyoung's lap with a wide smile on his face. "Mommy! Uncle Jinyoung! I went to school and made pictures and got a friend and..."

Jinyoung held onto his distressed friend's hand as they both listened to the boy ramble on about his day.

Changkyun wasn't please with all of this noise.

Then again, when was he ever pleased?  
  
  
  
  



	7. Changkyun's First Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter...
> 
> Hoseok is seven years old.  
> Minhyuk and Hyungwon are six years old.  
> Jooheon is four years old.  
> Changkyun is one year old.

"I don't care if that hippie son of a cunt dresses his baby as fucking Yogi bear! Changkyun's doggy costume will be eighty times cuter!"

Kihyun rants bitterly as he hastily dressed his one year old as a tiny brown dog for Halloween.

  


"For the twelfth time," Jinyoung sighs as he dresses his own baby son as a dragonfly. "Jeonghan is not a hippie."

  


"He feeds his kids pot brownies," Kihyun deadpans. "He's a fucking hippie."

  


Jinyoung giggles at that. "That was an accident! He got his batch mixed up with theirs."

  


"I don't give two shits! All that matters is showing him up at the party tonight. Yugeyeom and Changkyun will be the cutest bastards at this party!"

  


Jinyoung frowned. "We're both married. None of our children are bastards."

  


Baby Yugeyeom tries and fails to bite at the wings on his costume. This failed attempt upsets him.

  


Kihyun scolds his nephew starts to cry. "Hey! No tears tonight! We'll leave the crying to those hippies with the shitty costumes!"

  


"Oi! Don't yell at my dragonfly!" Jinyoung says, snatching his son away from Kihyun's rampage.

  


"He needs to be prepared! This competition is fierce! Right, Changkyun?"

  


Changkyun frowns up at his mother.

He doesn't know what this itchy garment is, but he knows he doesn't like it.

He tries to explain as much to Kihyun, but it only comes out as pained grunts.

  


"Oh, you'll be fine!" Kihyun tells him. "You look so cute, I promise!"

  


They were just about ready to walk out of the door when Kihyun heard a loud cry come from upstairs.

He didn't expect to see little Minhyuk come running down the stairs crying hysterically.

Minhyuk never really cried unless he was hurt or severely sick.

  


"Mommy!" he wailed, wrapping his arms around Kihyun's waist. "Daddy's being mean!"

As if on cue, Hyunwoo comes down the stairs dressed as Ironman.

  


Kihyun preferred the Spiderman outfit he had worn the previous year.

It made his ass look amazing.

  


Kihyun gives his husband a puzzled look. "What the hell is going on and why isn't he dressed?"

  


Before Hyunwoo could explain himself, Minhyuk started wailing again.

"Daddy won't let me be Tinkerbell!" he cried.

  


Kihyun rubs at his son's head and frowns at Hyunwoo. "And why the hell can't he be Tinkerbell?" 

  


"Babe,"Hyunwoo groaned. "He's a boy."

"So?"

"So, boys don't wear Tinkerbell costumes!"

  


Jinyoung looked ready to add in his piece, since his own son asked to be Elsa this year, but Kihyun motioned for him to stand down.

  


"Listen to me and listen to me good, Son Hyunwoo," he begins, ignoring how the other man stiffened in fear. "If my son wants to be Tinkerbell for Halloween, then he's gonna be a goddamn Tinkerbell."

  


"All of the other boys won't be dressed like that!" Hyunwoo counters.

  


"I didn't give birth to those other boys. Now, go out and get Minhyuk that Tinkerbell outfit right now or I'll make you wear one!"

  


Hoseok was a vampire this year, which was pretty fitting considering how pale his skin was. Hyunwoo was against it, ranting on and on about Twilight and the sexualized vampires.

  


"He's a fucking kid, Hyunwoo," Kihyun argued. "No one's going to sexualize him."

  


"You don't know what kind of sickos are out there."

  


Jooheon, yet again, decided to go as a honeybee. He was a cute little bee, so Kihyun let it slide this time.

  


Since the party store ran out of Tinkerbell costumes, Minhyuk had to go as Periwinkle. He didn't mind it one bit. It made him look like the prettiest winter fairy in the world.

Hyungwon was Kermit the frog at Kihyun's request.   


"If only you had a Miss Piggy!" he gushed as his son frowned at himself in the mirror. "Then, this would be the cutest thing!"

  


Kihyun and Jinyoung decided, after hours of sorting through over fifty different websites, that they were going to be Alex and Clover from "Totally Spies".

Their husbands, who both hungrily eyed their tight jumpsuits, had no objections.

  


"Oh god, Jinyoung," Kihyun gasped when he saw his friend in the tight red outfit for the first time. "Your ass looks so fucking yummy."

"Like your one to talk," Jinyoung says with a blush. "You're lucky you're married to Hyunwoo or else I'd take you for myself."

Kihyun takes his friend's hands into his and looked him straight in the eye. "Let's leave our husbands. We can run away to Paris and have a passionate love affair."

Jaebum stepped in between them with a big fat "Nope, not gonna happen."

  


Hyunwoo stayed quiet. He didn't want any of them to know that he was secretly waiting for Jinyoung to have his way with Kihyun. It something he prayed for everyday and every night.

  


But they didn't need to know that.

  


Jeonghan was always extra on Halloween. His front yard was a cemetery filled with makeshift tombstones, spiderwebs, and fog.   
Mummy's were propped and suspended up in random places. Every year, Hyunwoo hits his head on at least one of the decorations. It pisses him off to no end, but there was no way to prevent it.

  


"Ouch!" he shouts as he collides with a scarecrow with a pumpkin for a head. "Why does he do this?"

  


"Doesn't that look like one of the monsters from Wizard101?" Jinyoung asked, surprisingly the hell out of everyone.

  


"You played Wizard101?" Jaebum nearly choked on his own spit.

  


Kihyun scoffed. "You didn't?"

  


Hyunwoo arched his eyebrow at him. "Really?"

  


"You act like you were never a bored ten year old, Hyunwoo."

  


Jeonghan looked more than thrilled to see them. When he lets them inside, he's wearing a huge smile on his face.

  


Kihyun scoffs at him. "Where the hell is your costume?"

  


"This is my costume!" Jeonghan pouts. "I'm a hippie from the psychedelic 60s!"

  


"How the fuck is that different from your everyday clothes?! You're already a fucking hip-!"

  


"You look lovely, Jeonghan," Hyunwoo says, covering Kihyun's mouth. "You all have really outdone yourselves with these decorations this year."

  


Kihyun groaned and resisted the urge to bite his husband's hand. This was going to be one long night, he could tell.

  


Changkyun didn't like this new place one bit.

  


  


It was too dark, there was stuff everywhere, and the people were too loud! To make matters worse, the itchy garment he was wearing was even more irritating.

He told Kihyun as much, but he was too busy talking to the long haired lion guy.

  


Great, now he was itchy and ignored.

  


One of his brothers, the one whose name sounded like "Minnie", was prancing about in a short blue dress with another boy who was dressed like one of those creepy nutcrackers he'd seen on tv.

Honeybee and Bunny were raiding black pots full of candies. Honey wanted to share some with Changkyun, but their father wouldn't let him.

  


"He's too little for candy, Jooheon," he told him.

Changkyun pouted. Maybe he wanted to try the powder stuff, too!

  


Suddenly Changkyun was taken out of his mother's arms, which was not a good sign. As much as he hated crying, this was an emergency.

  


"Aww," it was the long haired lion man who had grabbed him. "Don't cry, Kyunnie. We're just going to go and play with other babies! Would you like that?"

Honestly, that sounded better than hanging around this dark place, but he didn't want him to know that.

  


"Mommy!" he cried out the only word he knew how to say and stretched his arms out towards Kihyun.

"Have fun, baby!" his mother waved at him and Changkyun's heart broke.

He was being abandoned.

Well, shit.

  


The lion haired man had taken him into a bright blue room filled with toys and babies playing with them. Some of them were a bit bigger than him, others were just as itty bitty as he was.

  


Luckily he saw a familiar face.

  


Frog brother was sitting in a corner napping.

  


Changkyun crawled over to him and smacked at his face. "Get up, Froggy!" he tried to say, but it came out as aggressive grunts.

  


Frog brother didn't stir and it pissed the tiny doggy off. He picks up a toy car and smashes it against his brother's face.

  


Hyungwon lets out a yelp of pain and glares down at his little brother.

  


"Changkyun!" he whined. "That wasn't nice! Why don't you go play with Yugeyeom?"

  


Changkyun grunts angrily. He does not want to play with Yummy. The boy looked like a weird monster and he wasn't ok with that.

  


"Look!" Hyungwon suddenly points behind the baby. "There's Minhyuk over there. Go bother him."

  


At the sound of his Minnie's name, Changkyun quickly whips his head around.

  


He scowls.

  


There was no Minnie here!

  


It was only Yummy playing with a toy alligator.

  


He noticed Changkyun looking at him and a gave him a wide smile.

  


"Kyunnie!" he called out and held out a stuffed bunny for him. "Play!"

  


Changkyun didn't want to play, but Yummy looked like he was having fun so he crawled over to him anyway.

  


They played for awhile, which consisted of them making their toys eat everything that was within their, and then Yugeyeom got bored.

  


"Kyunnie!" he giggled. "Attack!"

  


That was all the warning he had before he was suddenly tackled to the ground.

  


Changkyun grunts out in frustration as he tries to push the other baby off of him.

  


The two toddlers rolled around on the floor, Yugeyeom squealing happily.

  


There seemed to be only one way for Changkyun to stop this madness. He takes in a big breath and then chomps on Yugeyeom's arm.

  


What he didn't expect was for Yugeyeom to cackle like he was being tickled. Usually when Changkyun bites someone, they start crying.

  


Plus, Yugeyeom bites back.

  


Maybe this kid wasn't so bad after all.

  


  


A loud gasp made the babies stop tumbling around.

"Yugeyeom!" the boy's mother snatched him away.

  


Kihyun laughed as he picked up Changkyun. "Oh lighten up, Jinyoung! That was Yugeyeom just staking his claim."

  


"My baby is too young!"

  


"I agree with Jinyoung," says a dutiful daddy Jaebum.

  


"First Youngjae and Minhyuk and now this," Hyunwoo sighs, taking his son away from a laughing Kihyun.

  


"What the fuck?!" Jinyoung screeches. "Why does he have bite marks?"

  


"Mommy," Yugeyeom replies with a big smile. "Kyunnie puppy!" 

  


"I don't care! No biting!"

  


Changkyun, triggered by the word bite, chomps onto his father's fist.

  


Hyunwoo winced. "I'm not food, Changkyun."

  


Kihyun rolled his eyes. "I let him bite me all of the time. You guys are just being dramatic."

  


"That's it!" Jinyoung announces. "We are leaving! Let's go, Jaebum."

  


"Hey! We can't leave! We don't know who won the cutest baby costume contest!" Kihyun pouts.

  


"Spoiler alert!" Jaebum shouts as he follows his retreating husband and child. "It was Hansol!"

  


"Goddamn it!"   


_****_

  



	8. Father and Sons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter...  
> Hoseok is seven years old  
> Minhyuk and Hyungwon are six years old  
> Jooheon is four years old  
> Changkyun is one year old.

"You sure you can handle everything, Hyunwoo?"

Jeonghan decided to invite Kihyun and Jinyoung on a small vacation to Japan. One of his ex husbands bought him a hot spring and he felt the need to share it with his "closest friends".

Of course, going to Japan means leaving their husbands alone with the children. The other two weren't too worried, but Kihyun was having multiple heart attacks at the thought of leaving Hyunwoo alone with their children for a week.

He was mostly worried about Changkyun. The boy was only one year old. He's never been without Kihyun for more than a couple of days. What would his poor baby do without him? Not to mention the fact that the only word he could say was "Mommy".

"We'll be fine, babe," Hyunwoo reassures him with a sweet kiss to his lips. "You just have fun in Japan, ok?"

"I left a list of everything you need to know on the dresser in our room."

"Did you really?"

"Mommy don't leave!" Jooheon sobs. "I'll miss you!"

Kihyun resists the urge to cry with him. "I'll be back soon, Honey. Don't you worry!"

"Daddy doesn't let me wear dresses to school!" Minhyuk complained.

Kihyun glares at his husband. "I'm sure he'll let wear whatever you want, right?"

The unsaid "I'll fucking kill you if you don't agree" was heard loud and clear.

Hyungwon kisses Kihyun on the cheek. "Be safe, Mom. I won't let Dad burn down the house."

"Look after your brothers, too!" Kihyun reminds him.

Hoseok gives his mom the biggest kiss ever. "I will be the man of the house now!"

Hyungwon frowned at that. "The fuck am I, chopped liver?"

Kihyun smacks the younger's hand. "Language, young man!"

Hyunwoo sighs. "That is your fault, I hope you realize that."

Before Kihyun could respond, he hears an angry voice yell out "Mommy!".

Changkyun was sitting on the floor, looking up at him with a deep scowl on his face. He looked angrier than usual.

Kihyun scoops his baby into his arms. "I didn't forget you, Changkyun. You be good for your daddy, ok?"

"Why are you leaving me?! I didn't give you permission," was what he wanted to say. All he got out was a low growl.

"Don't be upset, baby! I'll be home before you know it!"

Once he said all of his goodbyes, Kihyun was officially on vacation.

And Hyunwoo was officially on the clock.

_Rule #5: For Dinner, ALWAYS Have A Side Of Vegetables. Make Sure Changkyun And Hoseok Eat Theirs. Jooheon, Hyungwon, And Minhyuk Will Eat Them If You Threaten Them With No Dessert._

Hoseok tosses his broccoli across the room with a loud huff.

  
Changkyun, inspired by his big brother's aggression, also throws his food to the floor.

Hyunwoo groans. "Hoseok look at what you did."

"Changkyun did it! Not me, Daddy!" he whined.

"Mommy!" the baby rages. Father wasn't a bright fellow, he realized. Didn't he know that the vegetables have to go on the airplane before they go into his mouth?

Mommy was the only one that understood, but he was gone.

That made him a little sad.

Hyunwoo panicked at the sight of big crocodile tears rushing down Changkyun's face. No one had done anything to him!

Minhyuk toddles over to his baby brother and scoops him up and out of his father's lap.

Changkyun babbles his troubles to Minhyuk. His mommy was gone, Father doesn't do the airplane, and he was in desperate need of a cuddle.

Minhyuk nods, though he didn't understand a word of it. "It's ok, Kyunnie! Daddy's just trying his best."

Hoseok, reluctantly, eats his carrots and peas. Maybe watching him eat them will make Changkyun more comfortable.

"See, Changkyun?" the eldest calls out with his mouth full, making Changkyun whip his head around. "It's not so bad."

Changkyun starts sobbing. "Mommy!"

That was when Hyunwoo decided to give up. He ended just rocking Changkyun to sleep a couple of hours early.

_Rule #8: EVERYONE gets a bath before bedtime._

_Hyungwon bathes alone._

_Hoseok likes to sneak into the bath with Hyungwon, so be very alert._

_Minhyuk likes to bathe with Jooheon._

_Changkyun bathes in the sink since he's too small for the tub._

He wished he would've read that before Changkyun went to sleep.

Waking him back up was a bitch to do.

He did what Kihyun usually did, grabbed him from the crib and placed him on the floor until he woke himself up.

Changkyun kicked and screamed for a good minute, but it had to be done.

"Hyungwon!" he shouts for the younger twin. "Bathtime!"

Hyungwon is upstairs and undressed within five minutes.

On countless occasions, he found himself thanking whatever god was listening for making Hyungwon such a calm child.

This time, it concerned him a little.

He just... sits there.

Toys and fluffy suds float around his tiny body, but he didn't touch them.

Hyungwon stares off into space, not moving or saying anything.

"I like to relax my mind after a long day," he says when Hyunwoo asked him about why he was so quiet. "Mommy says that sitting in a bath is the best time to do it."

As Kihyun had said, Hoseok tried to jump in the bath with him at least four times.

"I wanna play with Wonnie!" he cried each time he was caught.

Hyunwoo was smart enough to lock the door after the fourth time.

What was so great about a bath with Hyungwon, he wondered.

"Daddy, you're mean!" Hoseok screeched.

"So is kicking my shins, son."

When it came time for Hoseok's bath, the boy was nowhere to be found.

Apparently it was either have a bath with Hyungwon or have no bath at all.

Hyunwoo searched all over the house for him, from the kitchen to his bedroom.

"Mommy!"

He suddenly stopped when Changkyun called him.

With Changkyun, since Mommy was the only word he could say, you have to pay close attention to the way he speaks. If he lowly growls "Mommy", he's calling for Kihyun for something. However, if he deliberately separates the syllables, "Mom-my", then he's trying to get Hyunwoo's attention.

That was the noise he was currently making.

Hyunwoo bends down until he's face to face with his youngest boy.

"What's the matter, Changkyun?" he asked.

Changkyun points to the linen closet that was only a few feet away and grunts.

"Hm?" Hyunwoo arches an eyebrow. "Is Hoseok in there?"

Changkyun nods his head.

In the back of his mind, he made a note to teach Changkyun how to speak.

It took half an hour to get Hoseok out of the closet and another twenty minutes to get him in the tub.

It turns out that all he had to do threaten to call Kihyun on him if he didn't shape up.

Jooheon and Minhyuk's bath went smoothly. The two played with the toys, Jooheon being especially fond of the rubber duck, and sung little songs whilst doing so.

It surprised him when Jooheon suddenly started singing in Japanese.

"What's that song, Jooheon?" he asked curiously.

"Ohisama!" Jooheon cheers. "Mommy sings it all the time..." at the mention of Kihyun, Jooheon's eyes start filling up with tears.

Minhyuk cuddles him close. "Don't cry, Honey," he coos.

"Hey hey!" Hyunwoo calls to the both of them. "Why don't you guys teach me the song, huh? You think it'll surprise your mom?"

Jooheon was perfectly fine with that idea.

He and Minhyuk sung out little phrases so Hyunwoo could repeat them.

"Hey! That's not right, Daddy!" Jooheon would shout every time he mispronounced one of the words.

Hyunwoo nailed the chorus, but the other verses were garbled nonsense to him.

He'll leave the Japanese to his husband.

Changkyun fell back to sleep when it was time for his bath, so he didn't bother with it.

One child missing bath time wasn't the end of the world, right?

_Rule #24: Sit Changkyun on your tummy and have a chat with him everyday at noon. He won't say any words, but he'll tell you about all of the animal sounds he knows. It's the cutest thing I swear to God!!_

The boys were in school, and well prepared for it thanks to Mommy Rules 11-22, and Hyunwoo was alone with Changkyun. They were lying on the couch watching Brother Bear for the fortieth time. Changkyun bouncing on his stomach at every song that came on. "Welcome to our Family Time" seemed to be the favorite.

Since noon was a couple of minutes away, he figured he could get rule twenty four out of the way.

"Hey, Changkyun?" he pokes at the baby's tummy. "Can you tell me what a doggy says?"

Changkyun frowned at him. These were the questions his mommy usually asked him. This confused him.

"Boof! Boof!" he barks at his father, who resisted the urge to erupt into laughter.

"Ok, what about a piggy?"

"Oinky!"

Changkyun scowled again when he found himself giggling. He didn't understand why he was enjoying this so much and he doesn't like it.

"Wow!" Hyunwoo gasps. "My Kyunnie is so smart!"

Changkyun tried not to beam at Hyunwoo's praise, but he was feeling so happy.

"Moo!" he says, bouncing excitedly on Hyunwoo's stomach.

"Oooh! Now he's a cow!"

Who knew Changkyun was already this smart?

"Quack! Quack!" the baby beamed, happily bouncing on his daddy's tummy. 

"Oh no! He turned into a ducky now!"

Hyunwoo laughed as Changkyun continued to quack.

Apparently the duck sound was his favorite. 

"I got a big one, Changkyun! You ready?" Hyunwoo scoots the baby closer to him. "Do you know what a sheep says?"

Suddenly, Changkyun's smile drops.

His bottom lip pokes out and wiggles.

He didn't know what a sheep was.

Now he wasn't a smart baby anymore!

At that thought, he starts to cry.

"Oh no!" Hyunwoo pulls Changkyun in for a comforting hug. "No, no! Don't cry, baby. It's ok. You're still Daddy's smart Kyunnie."

Now he wished that sheep never existed.

_Rule #10: If you need to go shopping for anything, take Hyungwon and Changkyun only! You can call Jihyun to watch the other three for you. If Jihyun can't make it, call Jaebum or my mom._

If he had read that rule before going to the grocery store, it would have made his life eighty times easier.

They had run out of toilet paper, so an unsuspecting Hyunwoo packed all five of his children into his car and drove to the grocery store.

Changkyun groaned when he was placed inside of a cart. He was an independent baby that was more than capable of walking by himself.

Jooheon screamed and cried because he wanted to be the one in the cart.

"Honey!" Minhyuk scolds. "You have to be a big boy!"

Hyungwon held onto Jooheon's hand, knowing full well that this one had a habit of running away when he threw a tantrum.

And Hoseok was nowhere to be found.

Of course, the oblivious Hyunwoo didn't know that and started looking around for toilet paper.

"Oh god," he sighed when he saw all the different brands of toilet paper.

There was a rule that Kihyun wrote down that had something to do with toilet paper.

_Rule #33: When you buy toilet paper, make sure you get Angel Soft. If you get Charmin I will fucking kill you._

Eh, he can't remember what it was.  
Charmin Ultra Soft seemed like a good brand, though. He grabbed five large bundles and made his way to the checkout area.

"Honey, no!" Hyunwoo heard Hyungwon yell out. "You can't eat that!"

Jooheon was trying, and failing, to open a bag of potato chips that Minhyuk was snatching away from him.

"Goddamn it!" he hissed.

Eventually he managed to get the bag away from him. For good measure, he tossed him into the cart with the toilet paper.

When he ringing up the items, Minhyuk yanked on his shirt urgently.

"Hang on,"Hyunwoo brushed him off, but this was Kihyun's son. He was naturally persistent.

"But Daddy! Bunny's gone!"

Hyunwoo dropped everything he was doing and looked around. Sure enough, only four kids were with him.

Thankfully before he could start a nationwide manhunt for his son, an annoyed voice came through the intercom.

_"Would Son Hyunwoo please come to the Customers Service desk?" it asked. "We have your son."_

Hyunwoo wanted to cry.   
Why was this his life?  
Why couldn't he have raised normal kids?

He prayed, as he ran to get Hoseok, that Kihyun could come home sooner.

There was no way he could take this for another six days.

"Rape! Rape! Get your pedo hands off of me you stupid cunt! Rape! RAAAAAPPPE!" he heard his eldest shout at the top of his lungs.

God, help them all.   
  


****


	9. Merry Kissmyass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter...  
> Hoseok is seven years old  
> Minhyuk and Hyungwon are six years old  
> Jooheon is four years old  
> Changkyun is one year old.

Jeonghan was throwing another Christmas party.

No one knows why, considering that the last one ended in with a big fire, but everyone was going.

This was one of the reasons why Kihyun hated the holidays.

"Merry Kissmyass, babe," he said to Hyunwoo as he got himself ready to go.

"If the kids copy that, I'll never forgive you."

The boys were quietly watching "Grandma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer" in the living room.   
Minhyuk cried when Cousin Mel took over the shop.   
She was just so mean!

Changkyun cuddled up to Minhyuk. He was starting to understand that his big brother was an emotional creature. Only big cuddles could help him now.

"Hyunwoo!" Kihyun shouts as he frantically scrambles around the house. "Where did you put the presents?!"

Kihyun resists the urge to choke his husband when he hears him laughing.

"They're all packed in the trunk already," he answered.

"Well hurry up, grab the boys! I don't want to be late!"

Another reason why Kihyun hates these holidays is because of the "freezing my balls off" weather. It was nearing zero degrees outside with over three feet of snow plastered all over the ground.

Little Jooheon was afraid of it.   
He wailed and wailed until Hyunwoo placed him on top of his shoulder.

Hoseok and the twins were completely amazed. They even had a small snowball fight whilst Kihyun fastened Changkyun into his booster seat.

Minhyuk started crying when a snowball slammed into his eye.

"Mommy!" he whined. "Bunny hurt me!"

"All of you better get in the goddamn car or so help me god..."

The boys were fastened in their seats before their mother could finish his sentence.

During Halloween, Jeonghan was a hippie.  
But now, he was a Christmas hippie!   
How was that even possible?

"I'm so happy you guys could make it!" he cheers, bringing the couple in for a tight hug.

Since Changkyun was being held by Kihyun, he also fell victim to Hippie Santa's hold. He was not happy about that.

"Hi Uncle Jeonghan!" the twins chorused, Hyungwon less enthusiastically than Minhyuk.

"Merry Christmas, Hippie Cunt" Hoseok greets happily.

Hyunwoo was about to scold the boy, but then he saw the look of mischief and pride on Kihyun's face.

Jeonghan didn't seem the least bit surprised by this. Apparently he deduced that this was Kihyun's doing.

"It's so wonderful to see you, boys!" Jeonghan beams. "Why don't you all go play in the back? If you're good, I'll bring back brownies."

The hippie winks right at Kihyun and he just about lost his mind.

"If you feed my kids any fucking weed brownies, I swear to god I will-!"

The rest of the rant was blocked out by Hyunwoo clamping his large hand over his mouth.

"Be good, boys!" Hyunwoo shouts after them.

Kihyun tightens his grip on Changkyun. He wasn't able to stop the other four, but he'll be damned if his baby gets poisoned. 

Jeonghan giggled at his reaction. "Don't worry, Kihyun! I was only kidding!"

"Don't get stabbed, bitch."

Jinyoung showed up with Jaebum and their sons ten minutes later.

"There better not be another fire this year," Jinyoung said once he walked through the door. "Someone stay in the kitchen at all times!"

"Jinyoung let it go," Jaebum groans. "It was an accident."

"It's not my fault Jeonghan doesn't know how to bake cookies!"

Kihyun smirks at the sight of his best friend. "Merry Kissmyass, my love."

Jinyoung kisses his cheek. "Merry Kissmyass, Kihyun."

Before Hyunwoo could complain about their obvious hate for the holidays, he feels a little tug on his pants.

He looks down to see the big brown eyes of Youngjae staring up at him.

"Uncle Hyunwoo," he mutters with a blush. "Is Minhyuk here?"

Though Kihyun would never admit it, Youngjae was his favorite out of all of Jinyoung's kids. He loves all of his nephews equally, but Youngjae was the cutest little thing. Mark was too quiet, Jackson was too loud, and Yugeyeom was just weird.

He loved them all, though.

"Youngjae," he cooed to the six year old. "You know you can't marry my baby until you graduate college, right?"

Youngjae's tiny blush deepens. "I don't wanna get married, Uncle Kihyun! I just wanna play!"

"Yeah," Kihyun jests. "That's what they all say.

Hyunwoo scowls at him, but smiles at his nephew. "Minhyuk's in the playroom, Youngjae. Don't mind Kihyun."

Youngjae immediately ran to the back, all of his brothers following right behind him.

Jinyoung slaps Kihyun's free arm. "Stop teasing my baby!"

"Hey! He's my baby too!"

Every year there comes a point during Jeonghan's parties where the parents gather around the grand fireplace and discuss the presents they bought for their children.

Kihyun just sees it as a "best gift" contest. Either way, he was forced to put Changkyun with the other kids with great reluctance.

"There's going to be wine!" Hyunwoo reasoned. "What if he accidentally drinks some?!"

Jeonghan started the sharing circle, explaining how he bought his eldest son a little jeep.   
"Soonyoung can't even drive yet," Seungcheol raged. "What the hell were you thinking?!"

"I haven't seen him in so long," Jeonghan sighs sadly. "I just want him to know that Mommy's still thinking about him."

Jinyoung later informed Hyunwoo and Kihyun that Jeonghan's first husband won custody of two of the three children they had together. The poor hippie only had little visitation rights.

This was the only time Kihyun felt sorry for Jeonghan.

One of Jeonghan's friends, some uppity slut named Ren, talked about his daughter's state of the art dollhouse for a good minute.

Kihyun was sure that if he heard the word dollhouse again, he'd start breaking fingers.

When it came time for Jinyoung to reveal his present, he and Jaebum rose dramatically from their seats.

"Ki, baby," Jinyoung says to his friend. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you first."

Kihyun arches his eyebrow. "Tell me what?"

Jinyoung looks out to the other guests. With a bright smile on his face, he announces "We've decided to adopt another child."

A round of gasps and applause filled the room.

"Oh my god!" Kihyun squealed. "Why the hell didn't you say anything?!"

Jaebum answered for his husband, who was getting emotional. "He didn't want to say anything until everything was settled. He'll be home with us, Christmas Day."

"I'm gonna be an uncle again!" Kihyun tugs Jinyoung into a tight bear hug. "This is so fucking awesome!"

Meanwhile, Jooheon and Jihoon were making Christmas cards for their parents whilst the other kids were pretending to be Santa and his helpers.

"Woozi, I made a candy cane!" he cheered as he showed off his creation. "And that's my Daddy eating it!"

Jihoon silently showed the picture he made. He tried to draw his mom, dad, and all of his brothers, but he thought they all looked like potatoes.

"Whoa!" Jooheon exclaimed. "Woozi, you're so cool!"

"No I'm not," he grumbled under his breath.

"Honey!" a voice cries out for him.

Jooheon's head snapped around and he saw Minhyuk running towards him with tears streaming down his face.

"What's wrong, Minnie?" Jooheon asked.

Minhyuk put his head on Jooheon's shoulder.

"Hansol won't let me be Miss Claus!" he sobbed. "He called me a he-she!"

Jooheon frowned. That stupid Hansol was always being mean to him, but he never said anything about it because he had Woozi there to back him up.

Now that meanie head was picking on his big brother.

Things just got personal.

Jooheon stormed over to where Hansol was pretending to make toys with other kids.

"Hey, stupid head!" he shouts. "Why are you being mean to my brother?"

Hansol rose from the snow with a deep scowl on his face.

"Who the hell are you talking to, pipsqueak?" he sneers, stepping closer to Jooheon.

Jooheon didn't back down. "You, you big dummy! If Minnie wants to be Miss Claus, then he's gonna be Miss Claus!"

At the sound of his big brother yelling, Changkyun drops the stuffed bear that he and Yugeyeom were playing with. Honey sounds angry and he wanted to know why.

He motioned for Yugeyeom to follow him and like the loyal friend he was, he did.

"Miss Claus is a girl," Hansol fired back. "A boy can't play a girl, unless he's a he-she! That's the rules."

Jooheon shoved Hansol back. "Don't call him that!"

Hansol tumbled to the ground, making the other kids laugh at him.

"You're dead, pipsqueak."

Jooheon hoped they couldn't tell how badly he was shaking. 

Hyunwoo was fairly certain that his husband was drunk.

In the many years he's known him, Kihyun had never been one to hold his liquor.

Seriously, after a single glass of wine Kihyun was done for. 

As if things couldn't get any worse, Jinyoung and Jeonghan were both equally drunk.

"Jinyoung," Kihyun slurred, sliding into one of Jeonghan's red leather couches. "Come sit on Santa's lap."

Jinyoung cackled flopped down beside him. "Be quiet, baby."

Jeonghan plopped down on Kihyun's lap instead. "Santa, give my husband a nicer cock for Christmas."

"The term is Kissmyass."

Jaebum and Seungcheol blatantly ignored their husbands. They'd been through this so many times that they didn't bother to get offended.

Hyunwoo watched carefully. Sooner or later someone was going to start making out and finally he'd get his Christmas wish.

"Jeonghan you're fat," Kihyun complained, weakly shoving the man off of him. "The fuck have you been eating?"

"Your mom's chest hair."

Jinyoung scoffed. "Last time I checked, this wasn't 2008."

Jeonghan whined at him. "I'll eat your mom's chest hair, too."

Kihyun turns to Seungcheol. "Please collect your man."

"Gladly," Seungcheol scoops up Jeonghan and carries him away in a princess hold.

Jinyoung sobs at the sight. "Bummie. Why don't you ever carry me like that?! Am I too fat for you?"

Jaebum suddenly looked panicked. "Uh, what? Baby no!"

Kihyun giggled. "You fucking liar."

Hyunwoo slapped the back of Kihyun's head. "You're not helping anything."

"But, Hyunwoo! Jinyoung is fat!"

Jinyoung gasped at him. "Kihyun? You really think so?"

Kihyun pulls his friend into his lap, making sure both of his hands landed on his loveable ass.

"You bet, baby. And all of that fat is right here," he gives him a good squeeze.

Hyunwoo's heart stopped.

Jinyoung mewled, wiggling his ass towards Kihyun's hands. "Hmm, you like that?"

"You know I do," Kihyun groans, grinding his hips against Jinyoung's.

_This is the reason I got married_ , Hyunwoo concludes. _This is the reason I have testicles. This is the reason why I'm alive._

Jaebum, on the other hand, wasn't as pleased with it.

"Jinyoung, stop it!" he scolded.

It took everything Hyunwoo had to keep the words "Fuck off and leave them be!" from leaving his lips.

His little fantasy must be kept secret.

Jinyoung waved him off. "Leave me alone, asshole! You called me fat!"

Jaebum looked as though he was going to cry in frustration. "No, Kihyun did! He literally called you fat to your face!"

"Yeah, but he thinks my fat is sexy," he counters sticking his tongue out at his husband. "Don't you think so too, Hyunwoo?"

The larger man ignored Jaebum's death glare and immediately answered "I do not exist. I am merely an illusion."

"Stop being weird!" Kihyun sassed before placing soft little kisses on Jinyoung's neck.

Hyunwoo feels giddy. 

That feeling increased tenfold when his tiny husband slips one of his hands into the front of his friend's pants.

"Kihyunnie," Jinyoung moans. "You can't touch me there."

"I don't see you stopping me," Kihyun teased and brings his lips to his.

Jaebum growls to himself. "Oh god, this is college all over again."

College..?   
This happened before?   
And no one told Hyunwoo?

Not only was he offended, but he was completely jealous.

How come Jaebum had all of the fun?

"Daddy help!"

For the first time, Hyunwoo dreaded the sound of his son's voice.

Hoseok was running up to him, completely panicked.

"What's the matter, son?" he drawled, facing away from his delicious treat.

"Hansol was being mean to Minhyuk and Jooheon went to beat him up and then Jooheon pushed him and then-!"

"Slow down, Hoseok, Hyunwoo stopped the little one's rapid fire words. "What's happening right now?"

"Jooheon and Hansol were fighting but Changkyun and Yugeyeom jumped in and now they're biting him!"

Hyunwoo sighed.

Why? Why was this his life?

He, reluctantly, left to assess the damage.

It took him all of five minutes to get Changkyun and partner in crime off of Hansol, who was screaming bloody murder.

The older boy was bleeding from the wounds inflicted upon him, but Hyunwoo paid it no mind.

It was his fault for picking a fight with spawn of Yoo Kihyun.

By the time he got back to the den area, Jaebum had successfully pulled Jinyoung away from Kihyun.

"Let's get the kids and go, Hyunwoo," he said. "We've all had enough excitement for one evening."

"Well, I didn't!" he wanted to say, but he kept it inside.

Minhyuk and Changkyun were happy to leave. If they never saw that meanie Hansol ever again, they'd be fine with that.

Jooheon wanted to stay and play with Jihoon some more, but his dad was the boss around here.

Hoseok helps Hyunwoo pack everyone back into their car, Kihyun included.

They were all buckled in and ready to drive off when Minhyuk suddenly asked "Daddy, where's Wonnie?"

Hyunwoo slammed his head against the steering wheel.

Kihyun, who had sobered up a little, stumbled out of the car with an annoyed grunt of "I got him."

Hyungwon had fallen asleep in one of the many linen closets in the large house.

His parents weren't the least bit surprised.

As Hyunwoo drove home, he couldn't help but realize that Kihyun was right all along:

The holidays fucking sucked.

Merry Kissmyass indeed.  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	10. His First Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter...
> 
> Hoseok is eight years old.  
> Minhyuk and Hyungwon are seven years old.  
> Jooheon is five years old.  
> Changkyun is two years old.

"Mom, I need your permission to marry Jihyun."

Kihyun drops his pen onto the table in shock. He gives a puzzled look to his seven year old son.

"Excuse me?" he choked out, the crossword puzzle under him completely forgotten. "You wanna do what, Hyungwon?"

Hyunwoo, who was rocking Changkyun in his arms, arched an eyebrow at them both.

"I asked Jihyun to marry me and she said she would if I got your permission."

"Sweetie," Kihyun says slowly, picking up the boy and settling him into his lap. "Why would you want to marry her?"

Kang Jihyun was a twenty year-old girl that babysat the kids whenever Kihyun had too much to do around the house.

Hoseok loved her she let him play his video games as much as he wanted.

Minhyuk admired the dresses she would wear and would often ask her to take him shopping for one of his own.

Jooheon loved when she'd sing silly songs with him. He especially liked singing this Japanese song he'd taught her called "Ohisama".

Changkyun didn't like her at all. Kihyun didn't know why, but every time Jihyun would hold him, he would throw the biggest tantrum and even bite at her.

Hyungwon seemed to like her the most, Kihyun suddenly realized. The way he would just sit back and talk with her, ask her questions he already knew the answer to, and get depressed after she would leave should've been a big hint.

But marriage?  
What did this kid know about marriage?

"I love her, Mom," Hyungwon explains. "We make each other happy. We can live together on a farm and have billions of babies."

Kihyun almost had a heart attack.   
His seven year old was already talking about giving him grandchildren and he wasn't ready for that.

"Mommy! Mommy!" Minhyuk shrieks, happily jumping up and down. "Wonnie said I could be the flower girl at his wedding!"

"Minhyuk, you're a boy," Hyunwoo told him.

Minhyuk screeches angrily and stomps his feet. "Daddy I'm going to be a flower girl!"

Kihyun sends a glare Hyunwoo's way. "You just stay quiet over there, ok?"

Hyunwoo rolled his eyes, but did as he was told.

Kihyun then turns his attention back to Hyungwon. "Hyungwon, do you even know where babies come from?"

"You said Jooheon came from the stork and that daddy put me and Minnie in your tummy," he explained. "So, I will find a stork for us."

"Oh my god," Hyunwoo groans, blushing furiously.

"Wonnie can't get married!" Jooheon complained. "Girls have cooties!"

Minhyuk gasps. "Jihyun doesn't have cooties, Honey!"

"She does too!" Hoseok adds in. "And Wonnie's gonna catch 'em!"

Kihyun sighs. "Alright, settle down before I make all of you go to bed."

That shut them up almost immediately.

"Now, Hyungwon," Kihyun starts. "I think Jihyun would make the perfect wife for you. But I wanna have a talk with her first before we promise anything, ok?"

For the first time in a long time, Kihyun saw his baby smile wider than ever. Hyungwon hugs him tightly, squealing "Thank you, Mom!" over and over.

With his new found energy, Hyungwon hops out of his mother's lap and grabs his twin's hand. "C'mon, Minhyuk! We need to look up wedding dresses!"

"Yay!" the other cheers.

Hoseok and Jooheon followed after them, both whining "Hey! Wait for us!"

Once the boys were out of sight, Hyunwoo spoke up.

"Are you really going to talk to Jihyun?" he asked.

His husband chuckles. "Of course I am! My baby's in love! I didn't think he could love anything besides his naps!"

"Can't you just let this slide?"

"Over my dead fucking body."

Hyunwoo covers Changkyun's ears with a frown. "Could you please watch your language around him?"

"Hey," Kihyun shrugs. "You asked."

When Jihyun got a phonecall from Yoo Kihyun, she wasn't all that surprised. Her boss called her into work in case of emergencies sometimes.

"Hyunwoo and I need to have something to discuss with you, so please stay behind until he comes home tonight," was what he'd said, and that didn't sound good.

She tried to think back to find something she had done wrong.

Did he find out about that movie she bought on Hyunwoo's credit card?

Or maybe he found out that she used the last of his mayonnaise a couple of weeks ago?

Saying she was nervous was an understatement.

She sits down at their dining table with her intertwining with each other.

Hyunwoo and Kihyun give her intense stares, making her want to explode with nervousness.

"Um," she coughs out. "May I ask what this is about, sir?"

It was Kihyun that spoke first. She wouldn't be surprised if Hyunwoo was only here as an intimidation factor.

"I know about Hyungwon's little crush on you," he says.

Jihyun giggled.  
So this was about Hyungwon!   
Now, she could breathe a bit easier.

"Something comical, Ma'am?" Kihyun snapped.

The smile was wiped away right then. "No, sir."

"Anyway," he continues. "Hyungwon told us that he asked you to marry him and that you asked my permission. Why would you do that?"

Jihyun coughs uncomfortably. "Well, he was really sweet when he proposed. He even gave a little candy bracelet. I couldn't say no, I'd feel too bad! So, I assumed that you would say no for me."

"Well, what if I say yes?"

Jihyun stomach dropped. "Excuse me?"

"You obviously care about him and he's in love with you. What's the problem here?"

"Sir, he's seven!" she argues.

"Yet you accepted his proposal," Hyunwoo speaks up. "What does that say about you?"

"Wait a minute, I don't like what you're implying here!" she snaps at him. "I have a boyfriend and he's not a little boy!"

Kihyun presses a hand against Hyunwoo's large chest, silently advising him to step down. 

"You need to either turn him down or prepare for a wedding, good ma'am. But I should warn you, seeing my kids in pain doesn't make me a happy camper."

And that was how Jihyun found herself in this situation.

Slow classical music soothingly playing the background, rose petals all over the living room floor, and an audience of twelve was what the current atmosphere entailed.

Jooheon, Changkyun, Kihyun, Hyunwoo, and six stuffed animals and dolls were there to witness the most embarrassing moment of her life. Having her boyfriend, Heecheon, there too was just the icing on the cake.

Hyungwon was dressed in a black suit with one of his father's ties and a bright smile.

Minhyuk, being the flower girl he wanted to be, wore a little yellow dress and a daisy flower crown.

Hoseok wasn't taking this as seriously as everyone else was and decided to wear his vampire costume from Halloween.

"Now I can suck the cooties from your blood!" he explained.

Jihyun walked down their makeshift aisle, a white bedsheet spread across the stairs, holding up the royal blue dress she had worn to prom.

Kihyun resisted the urge to laugh at this whole scene. He hadn't expected Jihyun to go along with this. That girl cared about his son more than he thought.

Hyunwoo held an angrily squirming Changkyun his arms.

Changkyun's wanted to play with big brothers, but Daddy wouldn't let him. Why was he always kept out of all of the fun?

He bites Hyunwoo's arm in protest, whining loudly when the man didn't react to it at all.

Once Jihyun and Hyungwon were face to face, the music stopped and Hoseok stood between them.

The eight year old clears his throat and begins the ceremony.

"Friends, family, and Mommy," he pauses to wave at Kihyun, who winks back. "We gather here today to marry Jihyun and my little brother Wonnie because they have cooties."

Minhyuk then threw rose petals at the pair.

"Honey," Hoseok calls to the little boy. "Can we haves the rings?"

Jooheon waddles over carrying two big red ring pops on a plate. "Here you go!"

Hyungwon places one ring on her finger and Jihyun places the other on his.

"I now pronounce you married!" Hoseok announces. "Kiss the bride!"

Jihyun leans in to kiss Hyungwon's cheek.

Right as her were about to connect with his face, Hyungwon flipped his head around and brought their lips together.

The boys all gagged loudly. 

Hyunwoo covered Changkyun's eyes, preserving his innocence. 

Heecheon started cackling.

Kihyun screams out in horror. "Son Hyungwon!"

Jihyun's face went bright red.

This kid was too smart for his own good.

Despite having his mother spanking him over his knee in front of his new wife, this was the happiest day of young Hyungwon's life.

"Expect grandbabies soon, Mom," he tells Kihyun after the spanking was over. "Minnie and I found a stork."

Kihyun groans. "Please stop, my heart can't handle anymore."


	11. Bad Apple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter...  
> Hoseok is eight years old  
> Minhyuk and Hyungwon are seven years old.  
> Jooheon is five years old.  
> Changkyun is two years old.

Kihyun got the phone call whilst he was folding the laundry.

"Hoseok did what?" he screeched.

"I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, sir," said the nasally voice of his eldest son's teacher. "But your son choked another student this afternoon."

"Did you ask him why?"

A moment of silence passed before the teacher lets out an awkward cough. "Violence isn't tolerated here. I don't think the why matters. Now, there are therapy options for troubled kids-"

"Who the fuck are you calling 'troubled'?!" Kihyun snapped. "My baby is a sweetheart and I taught him better than to just choke people for no reason. So either you figure out why or I'm bringing this conversation up to the principal! You got it?"

"But sir-!"

"You know what, fuck it! I'm calling my husband and he's gonna pick up Hoseok," he continued to fuss. "You better be glad it isn't me!"

Hyunwoo raced to the elementary school to grab his son as soon as he got the text message from Kihyun.

He couldn't understand what would make his innocent little Hoseok get so violent.

Other than the aggressive blood of Yoo Kihyun pumping through his veins.

When he picked up his eldest son from the principal's office, he was surprised to find both Minhyuk and Hyungwon sitting beside him with puffy red eyes.

The principal sighs when he sees Hyunwoo. "Minhyuk insisted he was leaving with Hoseok. And Hyungwon said whatever Minhyuk does, he does."

Hyunwoo suddenly sympathized with him. When Minhyuk wanted something, he could be more stubborn than Changkyun when he refuses to eat broccoli. It also didn't help that Hyungwon was extremely protective of his older twin.

"Thank you," Hyunwoo says with a bow. "I'm sorry for the trouble."

The principal smiles. "Bless you for being more reasonable than your husband. I heard he gave Miss Lee quite an earful when she called."

Completely embarrassed, Hyunwoo bows again. "I'm so sorry for all of the trouble."

He and Kihyun are going to have a serious talk about manners one of these days.

None of the boys said anything on the ride back. Hoseok sat between the twins, who were cuddling close to him.

When Hyunwoo asked about the incident, Hoseok whispered for his little brothers to stay quiet.

Hyungwon looked like he wanted to refuse, but the pitiful look on Minhyuk's face made him change his mind.

It damn near broke Hyunwoo's heart.

"You boys know your mom's not going to be happy with this, right?" he tries. "He'll want to know something."

The threat of the impending scolding only made the problem worse.

A tear falls from Minhyuk's eye and Hyunwoo wanted to hit himself in the head with a boot.

Parents aren't supposed to have a favorite child, but Hyunwoo admits that he spoils Minhyuk more than the others.

Kihyun spoils the other four enough for the both of them anyway.

"Minnie, don't cry," he hears Hyungwon say softly. "It's not your fault."

Damn it.  
He couldn't wait to get home.   
Kihyun was a lot better at handling the emotional stuff than Hyunwoo.

Or at least that's what he thought.

Kihyun had mentally prepared himself for the lecture he was going to give Hoseok. He was even going throw in a guilt trip trick for good measure.

Then he saw Hyungwon and Minhyuk walk in with him and all of that confidence shriveled and died.

He instantly goes up to his sons and pulls them into a tight and comforting embrace.

"Mommy's here," he coos into their tiny ears. "Everything's going to be alright."

Hyunwoo's jaw dropped to the floor.   
This definitely wasn't what he had been expecting.

He just watched in complete shock as Kihyun carried the twins upstairs with Hoseok following right behind them.

Changkyun noticed how sad his brothers looked, but he couldn't be bothered. Spongebob had made a doodle that came to life! It was talking so weirdly and there was no way he was missing this.

Kihyun comes back downstairs and Hyunwoo immediately scolds him.   
"You're weak," he says. "You're a weak Mommy."

His bitter husband scowls at him. "Oh fuck you! Did you see how distraught my baby bunny looked? What was I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, maybe figure out why he decided to strangle someone instead of babying him?" Hyunwoo answers, surprising Kihyun with his sarcasm.

"Can't you see that they're in pain?"

"Because it's so painful to choke someone."

From upstairs, the boys could hear every word that their parents were shouting at each other.

Eventually it all stopped when Kihyun reminded Hyunwoo that they had one child that was still at school.

"Fuck off and make sure my baby Honey comes home safe," he grumbles and kisses him on the cheek.

Hyunwoo rolls his eyes, but mutters back "I love you too, baby."

Minhyuk had his hand clamped over his ears as he sobbed on his bed.   
His mommy was mad at his daddy and he knew it was all his fault.  
If it weren't for him, Bunny wouldn't have gotten in big trouble.

"Minnie's a bad boy," he whimpers, his breath going shallow.

Hoseok and Hyungwon sit on either side of him, both trying to coax Minhyuk into calming down. 

"It's not your fault, Minnie," Hyungwon says. "That guy was just a big ugly jerk."

"A real cunt if you ask me," Hoseok adds. "I should've killed him!"

"No!" screams the distressed Minhyuk. "If B-Bunny kills p-peoples then he'll go to jail forevers and Minnie won't see him anymore!"

Hyungwon glares at his big brother. "Don't make him worse!"

"Sorry, guys."

When it came time to eat dinner, everyone was still on edge. The only one oblivious to the tension in the air was little Changkyun, who was trying to explain to his mother that his toes were the weirdest things.

Jooheon sat beside Minhyuk, making sure to hold his hand the entire time. He had no idea was going on with his big brother, but he was there to comfort him nonetheless.

Hyunwoo stared at Kihyun.

Kihyun stared at Hyunwoo.

They silently argued back and forth, trying to decide which one of them was going to be the one to fix this, until Kihyun arched his eyebrow at him.

Hyunwoo knew that all too well.

They quickly play three rounds of "Rock, Paper, Scissors".

Kihyun is victorious.

Hyunwoo winced. He was not looking forward to this.

He clears his throat, making all of his kids look up at him.

"Hoseok and Minhyuk, when you two finish with your dinner, go wait for me in the living room, ok?"

Hoseok nodded, but Minhyuk shivered in his seat.

"I'll go too!" Hyungwon insisted.

Kihyun slaps at his hand. "You need to help me put your brothers to bed, young man."

"Yes, Mommy."

"Can I go too, Daddy?" Jooheon asks with a mouthful of chili.

Kihyun groans. "Jooheon please don't talk with your mouthful, that's rude."

"Mommy!" Changkyun whines, pointing at Minhyuk.   
Where ever Minnie was going, he wanted to go too.

Kihyun just poked at the baby's cheek. "You can't be nosy all of the time, Mr. Grumpy."

Changkyun grunts and kicks his legs.

Everyone is always leaving him out of stuff! How rude!

Kihyun and the younger boys fled upstairs after they'd finished their dinner. Hyunwoo had to pinkie swear to him that he would wash the dishes after their little talk was finished or Kihyun wasn't going to let him in their bedroom.

Minhyuk and Hoseok sat beside each other on the sofa, both looking absolutely terrified.

Hoseok tried to hide his fear by twiddling buy his thumbs and squirming in his seat.

Minhyuk had already started crying.

"Boys, listen," Hyunwoo starts with a sigh. "You're not in trouble, alright? Mom and I are just worried about you. Can you tell me what happened today?"

Minhyuk shook his head and Hoseok stayed quiet.

Hyunwoo sighed.   
Of course it wasn't going to be that easy.

"Why don't you wanna tell me, Hoseok?"

The eldest still doesn't answer.

"Ok... Minhyuk? Why don't you wanna tell me what happened?"

"It's all my fault!" he finally broke down. "Bunny hurt him 'cause of me!"

"Minnie, no!" Hoseok scolds him. "He had it coming! You didn't do anything!"

"Daddy!" Minhyuk runs up to Hyunwoo and wraps his tiny arms around his legs.

Hyunwoo immediately scoops him up and rocks him. "Don't cry, Minhyuk. It's alright."

Whilst he was trying to calm the boy down, Hoseok decided to speak up.

"Minnie was playing outside with Youngjae," he began. "This dumb kid was making fun of his skirt and called him that really mean "f" word. Youngjae pushed him and the mean kid kicked him on his doodle."

Hyunwoo winced.   
Poor Youngjae.

"He was trying to pull down Minnie's skirt, so... I stopped him."

Now Hyunwoo's blood was boiling.   
Nobody messed with his little Minhyuk and lived to tell about it.

"Son Hyunwoo!"   
He hears Kihyun stomp down the stairs. Unsurprisingly, he had been listening to the entire conversation. 

"Grab your gun, we're going to shoot some cunts today."

"Babe, I know how you feel," he said as he tried to calm the side of him that was raging right along with Kihyun. "But we can't shoot a little kid."

"I beat him up good, Mommy!" Hoseok boasts. "I protected Minnie!"

Kihyun bends down to kiss his eldest son's cheeks. "That's my big strong bunny! I'm so proud of you!"

Minhyuk taps his father's shoulder. "Bunny got in trouble because Minnie doesn't wear boy clothes," he whimpered. "I'm sorry."

Suddenly Hyunwoo felt a boat load of guilt pour over him. He's been telling Minhyuk that he shouldn't wear girls' clothes ever since he picked out his first dress.

Thanks to that, something in his mind told him that it was _wrong_.

"Son Minhyuk," Hyunwoo says, looking him straight in the eye. "You can wear whatever you want, ok? That boy was just mad because he wasn't half as pretty as you are!"

That made the younger giggle a little. "Really?"

"Of course! Minhyuk is the prettiest in the whole world!"

Minhyuk wiped his tears away. He was now wearing the brightest smile he could muster up. "Thanks, Daddy! Youngjae said I was the prettiest, too!"

Hyunwoo's smile dropped.

"Kihyunnie, maybe we're gonna need those guns after all." 


	12. Dr. Bunny MD, ft Nurse Minhyuk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter...  
> Hoseok is eight years old  
> Minhyuk and Hyungwon are seven years old.  
> Jooheon is five years old.  
> Changkyun is two years old.

"Get the hell out of my house, Son Hyunwoo!"

Hyunwoo quickly dodges the pillow thrown at his head, but he doesn't make any move to leave.

Kihyun was running a high fever and he did not want to leave him alone with the boys.

"Kihyunnie! You're sick! I can take care of you!" he tells him.

"You can't afford to miss work, you idiot! Just call Jinyoung or something if you are that worried!"

Hyunwoo just frowns.

Kihyun lets out an annoyed yell. "Get the hell out of my house, Son Hyunwoo! I'm not going to say it again!"

"I love you, Kihyun."

"For fucks sake, I'm not dying!"

Suddenly, the two hear high pitched screaming coming from upstairs. Seconds later Minhyuk and Hoseok come downstairs with two tiny metal boxes.

"Mommy's sicky!" Minhyuk announces.

"But that's ok!" Hoseok adds in. "Because I'm a doctor and Minnie's my nurse!"

"Doctor Bunny!" Kihyun squeals. "I'm in capable hands."

Minhyuk walks over to Hyunwoo and gives him a shiny smile. "Don't worry, Daddy! Bunny and I can take care of Mommy all by ourselves!"

Hyunwoo still looked uncertain.   
"If anything happens," he tells his kids. "You know who to call, right?"

"Goodbye, Hyunwoo!"

Changkyun didn't understand that his Mommy wasn't feeling well. All he knew was that his big brothers were wearing funny outfits and he wanted in on this.

Hoseok and Hyungwon tried to keep him away whilst Minhyuk and Jooheon were feeding Mommy some soup.

"No, Changkyun!" Hoseok whines, picking the little boy up against his will. "Let them make Mommy better."

Kihyun was basking in all of the attention from his children, but at the same time he was seriously worried.

What if he spread his sickness to one of the boys?

For a second, he wondered if he should've called Jinyoung like his husband suggested.

Then Jooheon put a little spoon of soup in his mouth and all of those thoughts flew out of the window.

"Thank you, Honey," he beams, then falls into a coughing fit.

Jooheon gasps. "Doctor Bunny! Mommy needs medicine!"

Hoseok salutes and dashes off into the kitchen with Minhyuk right behind him.

They fumble about, Kihyun winced at the sound of items slamming and breaking on the floor, and eventually the boys come back with their fists full of pill bottles and serums.

Kihyun facepalmed.   
How on earth did they break through the child safety locked drawers?

Minhyuk smiles proudly when he shows his mommy what he found. He was a very helpful nurse. 

"You can have this one, Mommy!" the eldest twin holds out a bottle of what appears to be a relatively strong laxative.

Kihyun holds back the urge to vomit all over his son. "Um, no thank you Nurse Minhyuk."

Minhyuk pouts and pulls out another bottle, this time a weaker laxative.

"No, no, Mommy doesn't need any medicine, ok?" he'll be damned if he has to take a laxative.   
He knows that he should've gotten rid of them when Hyunwoo's constipation went away, but he was too paranoid.

Now he's living with the consequences.

Doctor Hoseok pulls Minhyuk aside and points out the allergy pills. Minhyuk smiles up at his brother. "Thanks, Doctor Bunny!"

Jooheon grabs a cup of icy water and hands it to his mommy. He's seen his dad take pills with water and figured Mommy would do the same thing.

"Thank you, Honey," Kihyun says, kissing his baby on his chubby cheek.

Half an hour after he swallowed the pill, he started to remember why he stopped taking it in the first place.

One of the side effects was a blistering headache.

The kids hear him whining in agony and are by his side that second.

Hoseok and Hyungwon massage his head for him, Jooheon and Minhyuk put band-aids all over his burning forehead ("Band-aids don't help, Minnie!" "Shut up, Wonnie! They have little kitties on them!"), and Changkyun cuddles close to him and places tiny kisses on the band-aids his brothers put down.

Never has Kihyun ever felt so loved by his babies. He hadn't been spoiled like this since Mothers' Day.

"Jooheon, Minhyuk," he calls to the two. "Can you sing 'Ohisama' for me? It would make me feel a lot better."

Honey squealed happily when Kihyun asked about his favorite song. Minhyuk looked just as happy as his little brother did if not more.

They immediately stopped the band-aid assault and stood in front of their mommy, ready to perform.

Hoseok takes a break from massaging to look at his silly brothers. Part of him wanted to dance along with them, but he doesn't know this song as well as they do.

Changkyun and Hyungwon don't get distracted by Minhyuk and Jooheon's concert. Their mommy needs one hundred percent of their attention one hundred percent of the time.

After the song was over, Kihyun wanted to rise up from his spot on the couch to put Changkyun down for a nap.

Doctor Hoseok wasn't having it. "Mommy, no!" he scolded with a glare. "You're sick!"

"Changkyun needs a nap," Kihyun glares right back. "Look at how cranky he is!"

Changkyun hears his name and nap in the same sentence and growls. He wasn't going down without a fight.

"Wonnie will do it!" Minhyuk suggests. "He's good at that!"

Hyungwon pouts, but reluctantly scoops his baby brother, who immediately starts kicking and screaming, into his arms.

"Say good night to Changkyun, everyone," the boy says dully.

"Bye, baby!" Kihyun coos as Hyungwon takes his baby away. "I'll see you later!"

Kihyun yawned once the two were out of sight. All of this pampering has made him a little bit sleepy.

Jooheon crawls onto the couch with him. "Do you need a nap, too?"

"Yeah, just for a little..."

The kids giggled at how easy it was for him to fall asleep.

"Well, I'd say we did a pretty good job today, nurses," Hoseok smirks, striking a heroic pose.

"I don't think we're finished yet," Minhyuk whispers. "Mommy hasn't eaten much today. We should probably make some lunch."

Jooheon decided to leave the cooking to the doctor and his nurse. 

He's missed sleeping next to Mommy.

Hyunwoo doesn't question the state of his house when he comes home from work.

He expected the kitchen to look like WWIII had just finished.

He expected to trip over random bottles of pills.

He even expected to see all of his kids crowding around Kihyun as they watched "Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs".

What he didn't expect was the many band-aids that decorated his husband's face.

He doesn't question it, though. He knows better than that.

"Excuse me, Doctors," he calls out, making his two eldest boys snap to attention.

"Daddy!" Minhyuk shrieks, running full speed towards Hyunwoo. "You're home!"

Hyunwoo picks him up and squeezes him tightly. "It's nice to know that somebody's glad to see me."

"Hi, Dad," Hoseok calmly greets him. "We took good care of Mommy today."

Hyunwoo holds back the part of him that wants to sarcastically point out just how well they took care of the kitchen, and smiles down at him. "Oh really? What's the patient's current condition?"

They both give him blank looks.

"Children, Hyunwoo," Kihyun croaks over the dwarf's silly song. "You are talking to children."

Hyunwoo rolled his eyes, but rephrased anyway. "How's Mommy? Is it still really sick?"

Hoseok's eyes lit up as he nods ecstatically. "Mommy has been taken care of by the best doctor ever! He is ok!"

Minhyuk smiles with him. "He's all better now!"

"That's great! I'm so proud of you both!"

As he says this, he makes a mental note to check his husband's temperature anyway.


	13. Finally! More Words!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter...  
> Hoseok is eight years old  
> Minhyuk and Hyungwon are seven years old.   
> Jooheon is five years old.  
> Changkyun is two years old.

Changkyun hates Kihyun.

That has to be it.

There's no other explanation for this. Why else would he talk for his babysitter and not his own parents?

He was worried about Changkyun's lack of communication skills and complained to Jihyun, which made the young woman look at him as though he had just grown a second head.

"Changkyun's always talking," she told him. "He tells me that he hates me on an hourly basis."

It sounded believable, but Kihyun refused to fall for it.

Then he asked the boys if they had heard their baby brother speak.

"He likes to call me mean," Hoseok answers.

"He tells me I'm a pretty Minnie!" Minhyuk beamed.

"I heard him say my name a few times," Hyungwon told him. "He doesn't talk to me that often."

"Oh yeah!" Jooheon exclaimed. "Kyunnie and I talk all of the time! He really likes it when we play Pirates! But I think he just likes to hit me!"

This is how he came to the conclusion that Changkyun hated him.

He talked to everyone else but his own mommy.

It hurt him a little inside.

Hyunwoo chuckled when Kihyun told him this new information.

"Yeah," his husband says. "I was the same way. When I started talking, I only talked to my dad."

"But Changkyun doesn't talk to you, either," Kihyun rants. "I don't understand why..."

His voice trails off when he notices Hyunwoo's plump lips curl into a tiny smile.

"He doesn't talk to you, right?" Kihyun asks slowly and menacingly.

Hyunwoo shudders a bit, both in fear and arousal, and his smile widens.

"Kihyun," he tries to explain himself. "Baby, listen."

"You?!" Kihyun screeches. "He talks to you and you never said anything?! You son of a bitch!"

"Listen! All he said was-!"

"I don't wanna hear it!" with that, the angry husband storms out of their bedroom.

He goes into the living room, where his youngest son is watching Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs yet again. Changkyun only watches it for Grumpy, his favorite dwarf.

Kihyun ignores how cute his baby was when he tries to babble along to "High-Ho" and scoops the little one into his arms.

"Mommy," he greets his parent.

"Why don't you ever talk to me?!" Kihyun shouts in Changkyun's face. "All you ever say is Mommy! And I'm tired of it! Say something else!"

Changkyun giggles at his mother's anger. These kinds of conversations usually end with him getting kisses and cuddles so he is perfectly fine with this.

"Don't laugh! It's not funny!"

"Mommy!" Changkyun continues to squeal.

Kihyun groans.   
He's being so cute that Kihyun can't bring himself to yell at him anymore.

"Son Minhyuk!" he shouts for his son, and Changkyun's favorite person obviously.

The boy comes running downstairs and Kihyun's ready to scold him to hell back, but his baby was dressed in a fluffy purple Minnie Mouse dress and he couldn't find it in himself to get mad.

"Changkyun won't talk to me," he says to him, trying to look as pathetic as he possibly could. "Can you help?"

Kihyun hated that he had to resort to emotional manipulation, but this was important.

Minhyuk nods and takes his baby brother from Kihyun's hands. He scowls at him and Changkyun giggles back.

Changkyun was always happy to see Minnie.

"Kyunnie!" Minhyuk scolds. "You're making Mommy sad!"

That wipes the smile right off of his face. Mommy and sad should not be in the same sentence.

"Mommy wants to talk to you so he won't be sad anymore. Is that ok?"

Changkyun whips his head around to face Kihyun.

He looked very sad and it was all his fault.

"Oh no," Kihyun stopped his dramatic act when Changkyun bursts into tears. "Don't cry Kyunnie baby."

He takes the baby from his brother and immediately kisses his tears away. "It's not your fault, baby. It's ok."

Kihyun rocks Changkyun until his distressed sobs turn into light sniffles.

"I sorry Mommy," a tiny voice croaked, making Kihyun's heart stop.

He was so happy in this moment that he could die right then and wouldn't even be angry.

His baby boy was finally speaking!

"Aw," he couldn't help but smother him in more kisses. "It's ok. Mommy's not sad anymore, see?"

Changkyun smiles and slaps his mommy's happy face. "Mommy happy?"

"Yes," now it was Kihyun's turn to cry. "Kyunnie makes Mommy so happy!"

Later that evening, Kihyun watches Snow White yet again. This time, however, he has Changkyun's commentary to go along with it.

"In mine!" Changkyun sang with the dwarfs, squealing every time his favorite popped up. "In mine!"

Being the doting parent that he was, Kihyun took it upon himself to record this rare opportunity and send it to his best friend and the hippie.

They were always making fun of Changkyun, saying how grumpy or evil he was.

Well, how was _this_ for an evil baby?

"Minnie!" screams Changkyun when he sees his big brother walk by.

Minhyuk was just about to throw a tea party with Jooheon and Hyungwon, but he always has time for Changkyun. "Yes, Kyunnie?"

"Gumpy in mine!" he explains, bouncing in his mommy's lap. "High-Oh!"

Minhyuk giggles and sings back "High-Ho!"

Kihyun was dead.   
He was officially dead and this was the lovely afterlife he'd been granted.

Hyunwoo comes downstairs a few minutes after Minhyuk disappears and Changkyun screams out "Mom-My! High-Oh!"

Kihyun glares at his husband until he responds with a half-assed "High-Ho!"

When the evil queen's transformation scene came up, Kihyun was ready to protect his baby from its creepiness. The other four were terrified of that old hag (especially Jooheon, who had multiple nightmares about the woman coming into his room and eating him.) and Changkyun was usually asleep by the time this scene came around.

What he hadn't expected was for Changkyun to start laughing.

"Ugly nose!" the baby howls out. "Ugly like Jiji!"

Kihyun gasped. "Kyunnie! That's not nice!" he immediately came to the young babysitter's defense.

"Jiji mean!" he insists. "Mean to me!"

Kihyun cuddles his baby closer. 

"Ok, I believe you."

No he doesn't, but he was completely charmed by his baby's sweet voice and was willing to say anything to keep him talking and happy. 

"I love my Kyunnie."

"Love my Mommy."

Changkyun frowns when his Mommy starts crying all of sudden.

Mommy was just as emotional as Minnie.

"Oh dear," he sighs and kisses Mommy all over his face. "Mommy broken."

"Kyunnie loves me," Kihyun continues to sob hysterically. "Oh what a time to be alive!"

He was so emotional that he didn't see Changkyun start the movie over.

Even if he did, he wouldn't have cared anyway.  
  



	14. Son Hyunwoo: Boyfriend Material?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The married couple go on a date.

Days like these should come more often.

The house is quiet thanks to Kihyun's mom taking her grandchildren away for the weekend.

"You two behave yourselves," Momma Yoo warns. "The last time I left you two alone, Changkyun fell out of the goddamn sky."

"Mom!"

Now that they have the whole house to themselves, Kihyun can do what he's been dreaming about doing for weeks.

"Hyunwoo," he purrs to his husband as they cuddle up on the couch. "Do you like me?"

Hyunwoo arches a confused brow, as Kihyun had expected.

"Kihyun," he says slowly as though he were talking to one of their children. "We're married. We have five children."

"Yeah, but do you like me?"

"What is this about?" Hyunwoo asks. "Are you feeling insecure?"

Kihyun scowls at that. "No, you moron! It's just..." he sighs, biting nervously at his lip.

"Hey, hey," Hyunwoo strokes at his cheek. "Don't do that. Tell me what's wrong."

A bright blush spreads across Kihyun's cheeks, making Hyunwoo worry more.

"I miss my boyfriend," he rushed out and hid his face in Hyunwoo's neck.

Hyunwoo tried not to look as shocked as he was. He didn't know what Kihyun was talking about, but he couldn't let his husband believe that he thought he was going crazy.

"Ok," he says carefully. "Isn't a husband an upgraded version of a boyfriend?"

"Hyunwoo, every time one of our parents take the kids away all we do is sleep and have sex."

That was most definitely true, Hyunwoo thinks with a chuckle.   
Last time, he and Kihyun barely left the bedroom. He didn't expect that to be a problem.

"Do you not like having sex with me?"

Kihyun pinches his arm, growling when it had no effect on him. "Don't be stupid, Hyunwoo. Your cock is gorgeous."

"Then what's the problem?"

Kihyun sighs sadly. "Remember back in high school? All of those little things we did?"

Hyunwoo frowns. "We had sex then, too. I don't understand."

"Hyunwoo will you listen?!" he shrieks, pinching him again. "I'm talking about walking me to and from school, the cute little dates to the park, sneaking out to cuddle under the stars?"

Now Hyunwoo was starting to understand where this conversation was going. Kihyun missed spending time with him.

Ever since he got that promotion at work, his time at home was almost nonexistent.

He knew the boys hated that he wa away most of the time, especially Minhyuk, but Kihyun never complained about it.

He offered to get a job, but Hyunwoo convinced him otherwise.

"My boyfriend was the best boyfriend," Kihyun continues. "The cutest thin-!"

"Kihyun, do you wanna go on a date with me?" Hyunwoo abruptly interrupts.

His heart exploded when a sweet smile spreads across his husband's face.

"Really?" he beams. "You wanna date me?"

Again, he wants to tell him that they're married.

But who was he to ruin his little fantasy?

"Yes," he answers, feigning bashfulness. "I've been meaning to ask you for awhile now, but you just make me so nervous."

Kihyun blushes and it makes Hyunwoo's heart soar. "Ok, so what do you wanna do?"

Hyunwoo thinks back to his and Kihyun's first date. They had gone to dinner at this fancy restaurant, one that he could not afford to eat at anymore.

So, he scrambles to find another idea for a date.

That's when he remembers what he saw on the news that morning and had one of his sons whine and cry as he left with his grandmother.

"Why don't we go to the fair?" he says, making Kihyun's eyebrow arch.

"The fair?" he asks incredulously. "You mean the one the kids had been begging me to take them to for weeks?"

"Yeah, I think it'd be fun."

Kihyun pondered this a moment.   
On one hand, it'd be cruel to go to a fair without his babies, knowing full well that they wanted go.  
On the other hand, he always had this fantasy about going on a ferris wheel with Hyunwoo...

He knew that he was going to regret this afterwards, but what the hell.

"Alright," he acquiesced. "We can do that."

Hyunwoo happily kisses his husband all over his face. "Thank you, babe. I'll make sure you get home before curfew."

Kihyun chuckles. "You didn't care about curfew back then, so why are you caring now?"

"Well excuse me for trying to be romantic!"

Hyunwoo and Kihyun dressed in floral print shirts and white shirts, looking as though they were going to a tropical island instead of their local fair.

Kihyun said that dressing alike was stupid.   
Hyunwoo blatantly ignored him.

They successfully bought the tickets, with Hyunwoo trying to hide the heart attack he was having due to the ridiculously high prices, and immediately bought funnel cakes.

Well, Kihyun took Hyunwoo's cash and bought the funnel cakes.

"What?" Kihyun says when his husband frowns at him. "We might as well get fat while we're here."

Hyunwoo forgave him after the sugary sweetness of the treat dropped onto his tastebuds. When he finished, he had white powder caked all around his mouth.

Kihyun laughs at him. "Oh my god, you're such a fucking pig!"

Hyunwoo licks his lips and blushes. "I resent that! Just look at your face!"

The first attraction that caught their eye was a "Test Your Strength" game. Hyunwoo liked the challenge and Kihyun liked the big pink monkey it had on display.

The man managing the game noticed their intrigued stares and motioned for them to come over.

"Hey! You look like a tough guy!" he says to Hyunwoo. "Why don't you try my game, huh? If you can use that mallet to make the metal ball ring the bell, you can win the toy for your little boyfriend."

Kihyun nearly squeals at the word "boyfriend".

Hyunwoo grabs the mallet from the ground and brings it down on the metal plate.

The ball rises fast, but falls a few centimeters away from the bell.

The man gives a him a smirk. "Ooh! That's too bad! Wanna try again? This time it'll cost you."

Hyunwoo gives the man more money, then takes another swing.

The ball hits the bell easily.

"I was swindled," Hyunwoo huffs as he walked away.

Kihyun snuggled his new toy.  
His baby Minhyuk would love this.

"We need to play more games," he tells his husband. "I want to get bigger toys for the boys."

Hyunwoo groans.   
They'll have to file for bankruptcy by he end of this date.

Three games later, Kihyun was holding a big blue fish, a mummy, a tiger, and a koala.  
Hyunwoo had no more cash on him.

"Ooh! Ooh!" Kihyun shrieks. "Wanna go on the haunted house ride?"

"No."

"You're not allowed to say no to your boyfriend!" Kihyun whines.

"Care to explain where we're supposed to keep the toys?" Hyunwoo says. "Because I'm pretty sure we can't bring these on the ride."

A devious smirk spreads across Kihyun's face. "Fucking watch me."

Hyunwoo watches as his husband walks up to the man operating the ride. Their conversation lasts for about one minute and then Kihyun comes back humming happily.

The operator looked terrified.

"We can take the toys on the ride!" he cheers.

Hyunwoo didn't ask any questions.

The couple got on the ride, both clutching onto their stuffed animals with anticipation.

"I'm excited!" Kihyun squeals. "This is going to be fun!"

When the ride stopped five minutes later, Kihyun came off of it cursing at everything he saw. "That was fucking awful!" he rants. "Who the hell was that supposed to scare? A fucking child?"

Hyunwoo was right behind him, shivering and shaking in fear.   
Those severed heads had looked so real.

Kihyun frowns at his cowardly husband. "Are you actually serious right now?"

"I didn't like those heads, ok?"

"Alright, sweetie," he jests. "You can hold my hand for the rest of the day."

The sun sets an hour later.

Shimmering glows of purple, red, blue, and green captured Kihyun's attention.

The Ferris Wheel.

This would be it: the perfect end to the perfect date.

He turns to Hyunwoo and points at the ride. "Doesn't that look romantic?"

Hyunwoo could practically smell how eager Kihyun was. "Would you like to go up there with me?"

"Yes! Please! Let's go!"

"But your curfew is coming up," his husband whispers into his ear. "Are you sure this is ok?"

"Mom will be pissed, but I don't care."

Kihyun sat in Hyunwoo's lap and cuddled close to him. The wheel stopped spinning when their car reached the top, giving them a lovely view of the park and the lake that neighbors it.

Hyunwoo kisses his cheek. "Are you happy with me?"

Kihyun scoffs. "No, you're the worst person to ever live."

"I'm being serious."

Kihyun stares down at Hyunwoo, looks him straight in the eye, and slowly says "I love you so much, Son Hyunwoo. I think I just might marry you."

Hyunwoo groans, briefly forgetting about the little fantasy they were playing out. "Seriously, Kihyun. I know I work a lot and I don't see the boys as often as I want, but that's because I'm working hard for all of you."

"I know, baby. You're trying your best," Kihyun says, gently at his hair. "Maybe I should get a job, huh? Just to give you a break?"

Hyunwoo scowls at that. "We've discussed this! Raising our kids is a big enough job. You don't need to do anything else!"

"What about part-time? Are you sure-?"

"Kihyun, please don't bring this up again. One of us needs to watch our children grow up."

They didn't speak on that subject anymore.

Together, the two silently gazed upon the scenery around them with their fingers entwined together at their sides.

"I do love you, Kihyun," Hyunwoo confesses to the quiet air. "You do know that, right?"

A small giggle comes from his husband as he says "Telling me that you love me on the first date is scandalous. What will our parents think?"

Another groan. "You know what, nevermind. I think we should see other people."


	15. Dealing With Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter...  
> Hoseok is eight years old  
> Minhyuk and Hyungwon are seven years old.   
> Jooheon is five years old.  
> Changkyun is two years old.

Kihyun walks into the kitchen one morning, ready to cook his boys some breakfast, and nearly screams when he sees someone already in there.

Sitting at the table was Hyungwon, eating a bowl of cereal.

This frightened Kihyun because Hyungwon was never awake before noon when he had it his way.

"Hyungwon?" he calls out to him. "Are you ok?"

The boy jumps at the sound of his mother's voice, but he doesn't respond.

"Baby, what are doing up so early?" he tries again.

Hyungwon stirs his spoon around in his bowl, still not looking in Kihyun's direction.

"I was hungry," he whispers.

Kihyun sighs. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"I was just hungry."

"If you want to talk, Mommy's door is always open."

The next morning, Hyungwon is sitting in the living room watching tv. His eyes had dark circles under them, making his parents believe that he hadn't gone to sleep that night.

This time it was Hyunwoo that went to go talk with the boy.

"Hyungwon," he says, sitting on the sofa. "Is everything alright? You look like you haven't slept-"

"I'm fine, Dad," he snaps at the older man. "So can you please leave me alone?"

"Hey!" Kihyun shouts, overhearing the conversation. "Don't talk to your father like that! We're just worried about you, baby."

"Well don't. It'll make your hair greyer than it already is!"

Hyunwoo had to hold back Kihyun before he could choke the bitter boy.

"Give him a break, please?" he whispers desperately. "He's obviously not himself."

Himself or not, Kihyun was prepared to put the salty boy over his knee. 

Since his husband looked rather distressed, he decided to stand down. "One more time," he growled, angry eyes set on Hyungwon. "He's got more time, Hyunwoo."

Minhyuk knew something was wrong with his brother.

It was a twin thing.

Whenever Hyungwon hurt himself, Minhyuk would be hurt as well.

This time, Minhyuk was feeling really scared and he didn't know why.   
He cuddles up to Hyungwon, who had curled in on himself on his bed, whimpering pitifully at him.  
"Wonnie, I'm scared."

Hyungwon holds his big brother close to him. "I know," he whispered. "I'm sorry, Minnie."

"Make it stop."

"I wish I could."

That night, being alone in the dark wasn't something Hyungwon could handle.

Minhyuk fled to his parents' room when the fear became too much for him.

  
He wanted to go to sleep, his eyes were already going heavy, but he had to force himself to stay awake.

_He's gonna get me._   
_He's gonna get me._

His body trembled as Hyungwon tightly wraps himself in his blankets.

Now he wanted to go to Mom and Dad's room.

Sadly, the exhaustion got the better of the poor kid and he fell asleep for the first time in three days.

Hoseok was in the middle of a lovely dream about wrestling with purple monkeys when a loud cry shocked him back to reality. He rose up from his bed, head buzzing in any and every direction.

From his spot on the bottom bunk bed, he could see a little lump roll twist and roll on the top bunk beside his bed.

"Wonnie," he grumbles. "You ok?"

The only response he gets is another wail.

His big brother instincts took over immediately. Hoseok jumps out of his bed and crawls up to Hyungwon's.

"Hyungwon!" he says, shaking the boy's tiny body. "Hyungwon! You gotta wake up!"

"Mommy," he hears Hyungwon sob. "I want Mommy."

Hoseok didn't want to leave Hyungwon by himself for even a second, so he shouts out as loud as his little lungs could "Mommy! Mommy help!"

**_Thud!_ **

"Goddamn it!"

Kihyun had been startled so badly by Hoseok's sudden scream that he fumbled out of bed.

He was not at all surprised to see that his husband was still alseep. Hyunwoo could sleep through a tornado if he could.

His body, heavy with exhaustion, quickly stumbles into the boys' bedroom.

"What's going on?" he slurs, eyes frantically searching for any signs of immediate danger.

"Wonnie's scared, Mom," Hoseok says sadly, softly rubbing at his brother's back.

Kihyun removed Hoseok from the bunk and took his place. Hyungwon had woken up with tears pouring from his eyes.

"What happened, baby?" he asks softly. "What's got you so upset?"

"I went to sleep," Hyungwon sobs. "Freddy get me."

Kihyun's eyebrow arches at that. Who the hell is Freddy...?

Then it hit him.

One night, when he thought all of the kids were in bed, Kihyun and Hyunwoo decided to finally watch the first Nightmare on Elm Street.

Hyungwon wanted to watch it with them, but Hyunwoo told him that it would be too scary for him.

The little shit must've snuck downstairs.

"Didn't I tell you to go bed? Now that bastard is gonna kill you in your sleep!"

At least that's what Kihyun wanted to say.

Once again is snarkiness was pushed back by the motherly instincts that was screaming for him to comfort his baby.

"It's ok, baby," he coos instead. "Nobody's going to hurt you. Mommy will beat them up first."

"I'm sorry," Hyungwon mutters.

Kihyun chuckles and kisses his son's cheek. "Do you wanna sleep in my room tonight?"

The boy pouts. "No! I'm a big boy!"

"Whatever you say, sweetie."

As he expected, not even five minutes after he slid back into bed with Hyunwoo and Minhyuk, the bedroom door squeaked open and a tiny body hops into the bed to curl up with him.

_Yeah_ , Kihyun thinks with a tired smile. _Big boy my ass._


	16. Damn It, Hyunwoo!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter...  
> Hoseok is eight years old.  
> Minhyuk and Hyungwon are seven years old.   
> Jooheon is five years old.  
> Changkyun is two years old.

Hyunwoo was a weak man.

That isn't news to anyone.

However, Kihyun didn't realize just how weak of man his husband actually was.

One evening, whilst the married couple were folding laundry together (meaning Hyunwoo attempted to fold the laundry and Kihyun fixing his mistakes), Jooheon and Minhyuk came running downstair. Both of them had their lethal begging eyes ready for battle.

"Mommy?" they say in unison. "Daddy? Do you love us?"

Oh god, Kihyun thinks with a wince, they're playing this card way too early. 

This must be serious. 

"Of course we love you," Hyunwoo says, resolve already crumbling.

'Damn it!' Kihyun growls to himself. 'They were smart to send Minhyuk!'

"Do you love us enough to get us something special?" Minhyuk asks, watering his eyes for effect.

Before his husband could slip further under their spell, Kihyun interjects "What kind of special something?"

The two whisper amongst each other for a few seconds before Jooheon shoves his big brother closer towards their parents.

Minhyuk, the intelligent child that he was, had his pathetic puppy eyes aimed at his father.

"Daddy," he whines. "Can we have a puppy?"

Kihyun's "Hell no!" came at the same time as Hyunwoo's "Absolutely."

Hyunwoo turns to Kihyun with a complete stoic expression and asks "Why can't my son have a puppy?"

Damn it, they had him.

Minhyuk does a tiny happy dance at his victory. "Yay! We're gonna a puppy!"

Jooheon lets out a loud "Yahoo!"

"The hell we are!" Kihyun shouts at his cheery children. "We can't have five kids _an_ d a damn dog to take care of!"

"Why not?" Hyunwoo says, crossing his arms. "Seungcheol and Jeonghan got three dogs."

His mature husband was resorting to a child's argument.

This was most definitely not good.

"Hyunwoo!" Kihyun still tries to reason with him.

A rational man has to be in there somewhere.

"Kihyun!" he mocks back.

"That's another mouth to feed and you know we can't afford that!"

When Kihyun said that, something snapped in Hyunwoo's eyes. It was a look that Kihyun hadn't seen in a long time, so he couldn't exactly pinpoint what it was.

The elder shrugs and returns to folding the laundry. "Whatever you say, dear."

Minhyuk and Jooheon's good mood deflates after hearing their father give into Kihyun.

"Let's try again tomorrow," Jooheon whispers to Minhyuk. "We'll get a puppy soon."

It turns out, Hoseok was the one the kids sent to "try again" the next day.

This time, Kihyun was cornered alone.

"Mommy please!" Hoseok hops around his mother as he washes the dishes. "Can Bunny have a puppy?"

Kihyun groans. "You are too old to be a bunny, Son Hoseok."

Obviously defeated, Hoseok runs out of the kitchen in a huff.

He hadn't given up, though.

Kihyun didn't realize that until he brought in Changkyun, who was whimpering helplessly.

The poor baby was just about to take a nap when his big brother picked him up all of sudden.

"Mommy," Changkyun sobs. "Kyunnie sleepy."

Hoseok glares at his baby brother. "And Kyunnie also wants a puppy, right?"

Fat crocodile tears fall from the baby's tiny eyes and Kihyun's heart damn near snapped in half.

"Sleepy," he continues to whine.

Kihyun quickly snatches Changkyun away from Hoseok's grasp.

"Aw, is Bunny being mean to my baby?"

"Bunny mean," Changkyun quickly agrees. "I sleepy."

Kihyun sends his eldest a dark glare. "Mean indeed."

"I thought I wasn't a bunny anymore, Mom."

"Get the hell out of my damn kitchen, Son Hoseok!"

Hoseok hadn't tried again after that.

A couple of weeks go by and Kihyun believes he had won the "puppy argument". None of the kids brought up the subject and Hyunwoo stopped bugging him about it when they were alone in bed.

They had all given up pretty easily.

Too easily, now that he thinks back on it.

What happened? Had his babies broken out of their stubbornness phase early?

  
It was with that thought that Kihyun turned his nose and completely let the argument slip his mind.

So, when his mother called asking (more like demanding) for his help moving some furniture that weekend, he thought it would be perfectly fine to leave his children alone with their father for a little while.

"You just go help Mom out," Hyunwoo had told him, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips as he walking out of the door. "I'll take care of everything."

Hyunwoo had said it with such conviction that Kihyun almost believed it. He was still in trouble for the "toilet paper incident".

The sentiment still made his heart swell with pride, though.

"I love you, Hyunwoo."

Instead of saying it back, Hyunwoo made a strange face. His lips puckered uncomfortably and his eyes squinted together tighter than usual.

Kihyun arched his eyebrow. "I _said_ I love you, Son Hyunwoo."

"Uh, yeah," the elder sputters. "Love you too."

That certainly aroused suspicion.

"Ok then..."

"He's cheating on you."

Kihyun wanted to strangle himself for this. What in his right mind made told him that asking his mother for advice was a great idea?

"Mom," he groans, but then Momma Yoo cuts him off with a scoff.

"The hell am I talking about? He wouldn't cheat on you!"

"Yeah, he loves me-!"

Momma Yoo quickly covers his mouth. "I dare that boy to find a bitch prettier than you."

Kihyun's jaw dropped. "Mom!"

"What?" she shrugs. "I've birth some attractive babies. If he is cheating, I'd like to see them pump out four kids and still look like you do!"

"Stop!"

One hour.

Kihyun was only gone for one hour.

When he walked into his house, everything was completely silent.

A family with five kids is never quiet.

Either someone walked in and killed them all or his husband had done something stupid again.

After walking around for a bit, Kihyun could start to hear some light giggling.

It didn't take him long to recognize that the giggling belonged youngest baby.

Now, he was unbelievably curious. 

Changkyun never giggled like that unless Snow White was on.

He walked upstairs to where he could hear his baby's voice.

Changkyun was in his bedroom, confined inside of his playpen. 

He was standing up and bouncing with his hands on the rails.

When Changkyun sees his mother, he squeals happily. "Mommy!"

Kihyun couldn't help but scoop the boy out of his tiny prison.

"Hi, Kyunnie," he coos to the happy toddler. "What's got my baby so happy, huh?"

"Bobo!" he says, pointing towards the closet behind him. "Bunny Bobo!"

Kihyun groans to himself. He didn't know what a "Bobo" was exactly, but he had a feeling...

He sets Changkyun down and watches as he slowly toddles to the closet. His tiny fists bang on the door as he cutely shouts "Bobo! Kyunnie wan' Bobo!"

A tiny "Shush, Changkyun!" could be heard on the other side of the door.

Kihyun shakes his head. "Bunny, come out here right now."

"No thank you," he replies.

"Son Hoseok, I said _now._ "

After a bit of grumbling, the closet door slides open and Hoseok jumps out with his eyes locked on the floor.

"Wanna tell me what's going on?" Kihyun asks slowly.

Hoseok sighs. "No."

"Hoseok I swear to-!"

Before he could begin his rant, a loud "Woof!" and scratching came from behind the eldest child. 

Kihyun could already feel his blood begin to boil.

"Don't fucking tell me..."

He reluctantly walks behind Hoseok and opens the closet.

His son's cry of "Mommy, wait!" was completely ignored.

A tiny yellow lab, literally the damn thing was barely bigger than his shoe, jumped out of the closet, sniffing around the ground before hopping on Kihyun's leg.

"Bobo!" Changkyun shrieks and the dog runs over to him.

The baby relishes in all of the doggy kisses he received.

Bobo...

Hyunwoo got a dog and named it Bobo.

"Where's your father?" Kihyun calmly asks Hoseok.

Hoseok points to the closet.

_You've got to be kidding me._

"Son Hyunwoo," Kihyun growls out. "Front and center."

"No," Kihyun hears the muffled voice of his husband. "You're mad."

"I'm not mad," he assures.

"Yes you are."

"Do you _want_ me to get mad?"

Moments later, his over six foot husband steps out of the closet. Minhyuk and Jooheon followed closely behind him.

"That closet isn't even that big, how the hell-?" Kihyun stopped himself. This wasn't the problem here.   
"Alright, which one of you wants to explain first?"

"Can we keep him, Mommy?" Minhyuk begs. "Daddy said we could keep him!"

Kihyun holds back a chuckle whilst Hyunwoo turned pale. Leave it to Minhyuk to throw his own father under the bus.

"Kihyunnie, I can explain-!"

Kihyun holds up his hand and Hyunwoo quiets himself immediately.

"You sir, are going to train that son of bitch. You will also be cleaning the entire house for two months," Kihyun nags. "Also, sleep on the couch until that thing is potty trained."

Hyunwoo, despite how badly he wanted to explain himself, held back his excuses and just nodded his head.

"If you ever go behind my back like this again, you won't get punished like a child," Kihyun slides closer to him until his lips are right under his husband's ear. "I will fucking kill you. Do you understand me?"

Hyunwoo glups. "Loud and clear."

Minhyuk and Jooheon jumped around happily. "Yay! Bobo can stay!" they cheered.

"Wait a minute," Kihyun says once he realized there was one less baby in the room. "Where's Hyungwon?"

Hyunwoo shrugs. "He wouldn't wake up."

Kihyun rolls his eyes. "Of fucking course."

Minhyuk scoops the puppy from the ground. "Let's go wake Wonnie, Bobo!"

Jooheon and Hoseok are right behind them when Minhyuk takes off running for their bedroom.

Changkyun plops to the ground and pouts. He wanted to play with the puppy, too.

Kihyun pats at his baby's head. "It's ok, Kyunnie."

"Bobo play, Mommy," he complains.

"Something tells me Bobo will be playing for a long time, baby."

_"WHAT THE HELL IS ON ME?!"_

Hyunwoo chuckles. "I guess they woke him up."

Kihyun laughs right along with him, but adds enough base in his voice to yell out "SON HYUNGWON, WATCH YOUR MOUTH!"


	17. Minhyuk's First Kiss

Hyunwoo is a father, being an overprotective brute was part of the job.

However, when it comes to his baby Minhyuk, he'll slaughter any and everyone who so much as look at him the wrong way.

Kihyun says he's being a bit dramatic, but he shuts up when Hyunwoo brought up the "Cookie Incident" with Hoseok.

Hyunwoo's biggest problem when it comes to his precious Minhyuk was the boy's best friend.

Im Youngjae.

The two had been so close since they were two years old. Hyunwoo thought it was cute at first, but then he noticed the _look_. That look that Youngjae gets whenever he's playing with Minhyuk.

Youngjae had a crush on his boy?

That was not okay.

"Just leave them alone!" Kihyun insists. "I'm already planning their wedding."

The thought of his baby marrying anyone was sickening. Minhyuk was supposed to stay tiny forever and never ever leave his big, strong arms.

So when Jinyoung and Jaebum took all of their kids to the park one afternoon, it was only natural that Hyunwoo asked to accompany him.

Sadly, Jinyoung was his lovely husband's best friend. He could see through the bullshit he tried to spew.

"Your boys will be fine, Papa Bear!" he says when Hyunwoo practically begged him to let him tag along.

"You and Kihyun could use a few hours alone."

After ten anxious minutes of pacing the floor, Hyunwoo realized that he didn't need Jinyoung's permission to do anything! He was a grown father of five kids and he had rights!

"Just where in the hell do you think you're going?"

Just as he was headed out the door with his car keys gripped tightly in his hands, Kihyun snapped at him.

Hyunwoo sighed.  
This was it.

He was going to put his foot down and be a man!

"I'm going to stop a tiny pervert from corrupting my son and there's nothing you can do about!" he says proudly.

Or, at least that's what he tried to say.

What actually came out was:

"No... nowhere, dear."

It wasn't his fault! Kihyun was doing that _thing_ with his eyebrows again.

There was no fighting the eyebrow thing.

"We were supposed to spend the day together!" Kihyun groans, throwing an irritated hand on his hip. "Jinyoung and I planned this for months! I even bought the licorice panties you wanted!" 

Hyunwoo wouldn't admit it if you'd ask him, but that almost made him forget about his son's innocence being in peril.

Kihyun in licorice...?

Or saving Minhyuk?

Kihyun must have noticed the conflict in his eyes because a sly smirk suddenly spreads across his features.

"I'm wearing them right now, you know?" he whispers darkly as he saunters up to his husband with a sway of his hips. "Don't you wanna see 'em, baby?"

Goddamn it all, he did.

Hyunwoo drops the keys, not even batting an eye they clang harshly on the ground, and then scoops Kihyun into his arms bridal style.

Kihyun squeals happily. "Do be careful with me, sweetie! I'm all tiny and fragile."

"Please stop lying to yourself."

Minhyuk would be fine, Hyunwoo thinks as he and Kihyun ascend the stairs to their bedroom.

What's the worst that could happen?

"Honey! Save me!"

Minhyuk watched cheerfully as Changkyun tried to run away from Hyungwon, who was pretending to be a slow walking monster.  
Jooheon, the toddler's knight in shining armor, would throw tiny pebbles and sticks at said monster.

Changkyun's tiny legs couldn't carry him that far, so Hyungwon caught up with him easily. Each time he would tap Changkyun's shoulder, the toddler would squeak and then toddle off.

Jackson, Jooheon's faithful sidekick, was ordered keep the other monsters at bay. It was quite a job since Mark, Hoseok, and BamBam were all bigger than him, but he was a super knight! And super knights could do anything!

"Mommy!" baby Yugyeom whines to Jinyoung as he squirms in his lap. "Yummy play with Kyunnie!"

Jinyoung tightens his hold on him. "Yummy needs a nap."

"No! Yummy not wanna nap!"

"Yugyeom!" Jaebum snaps from beside the two. "Be quiet or no candy later!"

"No nap, Daddy!"

Minhyuk turns away from Yugyeom's tired whinging when he feels something tickle at his ear.

Youngjae stood above him with a bright smile on his face.

"Princess," he says with a tiny. "Minhyuk is a pretty princess now!"

Minhyuk slid a finger behind his ear and felt the fluffy petals of a sunflower.

"Thanks, Youngjae!" he beams at him. "Does that mean you're a prince?"

Before his flustered friend could respond, Minhyuk grabs a handful of daisies from beside them and sprinkles them on top of Youngjae's head.

"Now Youngjae's pretty, too!"

Youngjae smiles with him. "You..." he squeaks. "You think I'm pretty?"

Minhyuk nods quickly. "Yeah! You're the prettiest prince ever!"

Youngjae's smile widened. "Wow, thanks!"

A moment of fluffy silence passes and Youngjae takes advantage and grabs his pretty buddy's hand.

Minhyuk arches an eyebrow at him and their, now, entwined fingers. "Whatcha doin'?"

A flash of burning red passes over Youngjae's face. "Can... we get married, Minhyuk?"

Minhyuk's eyes widened.

Married was what his mommy and daddy were! 

Hyungwon was married to their babysitter!

Even Uncle Jinyoung and Jaebum were married!'

"Why?!"

"Because the prince always marries the princess at end of the story," Youngjae explained. "Mommy told me that you marry somebody you think is pretty."

Minhyuk gasps. "You're right!"

He leans over and quickly plops a little smooch on his friend's lips.

Youngjae, who hadn't expected this at all, backs away with a horrified expression. "What was that for?!"

Minhyuk giggles. "You gotta kiss to be married, Sillyhead! That's the rules!"

"Oh," that statement calms the other down enough for him to slowly make his way back towards Minhyuk. He grabs his hand and kisses it, the same he'd seen his dad do with his mommy. "Ok."

"Oi! What the hell do you two think you're doing?!"

Hyunwoo was absolutely livid.

His husband's sexy soft body had distracted him from his mission!

Damn it all!

"I can't believe you recorded it!" Kihyun squeals at his friend with a blissed out glow to his face. "Have I told you that I loved you yet?"

"Yes, but I love hearing it anyway," Jinyoung giggles as he restarts the video when it ended.

Youngjae had the nerve, the _balls_ to kiss his baby boy!

Hyunwoo knew he had a crush on Minhyuk, but he never thought that he do anything!

It was Minhyuk that kissed him first, Hyunwoo realized when he watched the footage that Jinyoung captured. 

To which he reasonably responded, "Minhyuk is never allowed to leave the house again."

The two roll their eyes at him.

Minhyuk, who saw nothing wrong with this situation, was explaining to his Uncle Jaebum about the fancy kingdom he and Youngjae were going to rule together. Changkyun, Jackson and Jooheon were listening closely.

Hoseok and BamBam were chanting "Minhyuk and Youngjae sittin' in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" repeatedly.

Mark and Hyungwon had nothing to contribute to the conversation.

Youngjae was hiding his blushing fave in his Uncle Kihyun's shoulder. This was the worst day of his young life.

Uncle Hyunwoo's dark eyes glaring at him weren't helping the matter, either.

"Hyunwoo stop it!" Kihyun scolds. "He's just a baby."

Hyunwoo doesn't respond.

He was too busy planning a funeral. 


	18. Changkyun vs Yugyeom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter...  
> Changkyun is two years old.  
> Yugeyeom is two years old.

"Kyunnie!"

Changkyun awoke from his nap with a startled yelp. The first thing he sees when he wakes up is a big smile from his good friend, "Yummy".

Not that he wasn't happy to see him, but he was in the middle of a lovely dream. Changkyun was a mighty king that smashed all of the big bad spiders in the world.

"Yummy, go away!" he growls, curling back into the comfortable ball he had been in.

Yugeyeom scowls. His mommy promised him that he could play with Changkyun today. This was not the kind of playtime he wanted.

"Kyunnie play please," he continues, making sure to add please after everything. After all, Mommy did say that it was the magic word.

"Sleepy!"

"No! Play with me!"

The two toddlers struggle with the blankets for a bit before Yugeyeom jumps into bed with him. He slithers underneath the blankets and bites the first body part of Changkyun's he could find.

"Ow!" Changkyun shrieks, rubbing at his injured neck. "Yummy can't eat me!"

"Kyunnie play with me!"

Changkyun eventually realized that he couldn't get back to sleep.

He was _not_ happy about that, either.

Yugeyeom smiled when his friend finally rose from his bed.

"Yay!" he cheers with a tiny clap. "Wanna play toys!"

Changkyun groans as his tummy does the rumbling things. Yugeyeom wants to play, yet he hadn't had any food!

Where was the food?

"Yummy," the other whines to his friend. "Wanna eat!"

Yugeyeom pouts. "But I wanna play!"

Since this conversation was heading in an obvious turn to a dead end, so Changkyun did the only thing he could think of.

He cried.

Crocodile tears fill and spill over his eyes and he starts shrieking for attention.

The noise is so piercingly high that it forces Yugeyeom to cover his ears with a wince.

Seconds later, his Uncle Jinyoung comes into the room and quickly scoops the crying toddler into his arms.

"No," he coos to Changkyun, bouncing him in his arms. "What's wrong with my favorite nephew?"

An annoyed groan came from behind him.   
"I thought I was your favorite nephew!"

"We've discussed this, Hyungwon," Jinyoung sighs.

"But I'm Minhyuk!"

Changkyun ignores his favorite brother and snuggles closely to his uncle. "Hungry, Jinnie."

Jinyoung's heart breaks at how pitiful the baby sounds. "It's ok, Jinnie's gonna feed you."

"Mommy rude!" Yugeyeom says with a pout.

Jinyoung frowns at his youngest son. "Don't you use that tone with me, young mister," he scolds. "You are not allowed to starve your friends."

Changkyun stuck out his tongue at Yugeyeom as his uncle turned to take him to wherever the food was.

Changkyun: 1  
Yugeyeom: 0

Two hours later, Jinyoung puts on Snow White (despite all of the complaining his own children did) for the two babies.

Minhyuk and Jooheon watched with them, with Minhyuk holding Changkyun in his lap.

"Gumpy!" Changkyun squeals when his favorite character pops up on the screen and turns to his good friend. "Yummy! It Gumpy!"

Yugeyeom cheesed right back at him. "See Sneezy! I see Sneezy!"

Meanwhile, being the good friend that he was, Jinyoung was recording the entire thing from behind them. Kihyun was going to get one hell of a treat today.

It was all going well until the evil queen's transformation scene came up. Whilst this part didn't scare Changkyun, Yugeyeom was completely terrified by it.

Yugeyeom's big brothers know this, and they couldn't help but take advantage.

Bambam and Jackson, being the meanies that they were, mocked the evil queen's maniacal cackle.

Yugeyeom trembled in Mark's arms, whining softly for his mommy. 

Mark scowls at his two annoying brothers. "Guys, can you stop?" he hisses in his monotonous drawl. 

Bambam pouts at him. "Oh c'mon! You're no fun!"

Jackson smirks at that. "Mark could be that witch in disguise!" 

The youngest Im child jumps out of his eldest brother's lap to run away and hide. 

Changkyun, obviously upset at the disappearance of his best friend, frowns at Jackson and BamBam. "Meanies!" he shouts. "I tell Wonnie!" 

Upon hearing his name, Hyungwon emerges from a linen closet he'd been resting in.

He did _not loo_ k happy. 

"Hi, Wonnie!" Changkyun says with a frantic wave. "Jacky and Bam be mean to Yummy!"

The two boys in question fled the room the second Hyungwon came out to of the closet.

Hyungwon, who was especially fond of Yugeyeom for a reason no one really understood, scoops up the little toddler into his arms and bounces his a little. "You're ok, Yumyum," he coos softly. "No creepy witch is gonna get you today."

"Scary," Yugeyeom whines, cuddling closer to Hyungwon.

Changkyun scowls at the two of them. He almost never got cuddles from Hyungwon. If he did, it was because his mommy made him do it.

"Wonnie cuddle Kyunnie!" Changkyun shouts, making Minhyuk and Jooheon giggle at him.

"Changkyun, you're not scared of the witch lady," Minhyuk tells him.

"Wonnie cuddle!"

When Hyungwon pays the youngest no mind, Changkyun proceeds to throw a tiny tantrum. He frantically kicks his chubby little legs and cries.

Changkyun: 1  
Yugeyeom: 1

There was one hour left until Changkyun's mommy and daddy would come and get him and his brothers. Him and Yummy had already had their naps, so now it was time to play brave knights with Minnie, Honey, and Jaejae.

This was the toddler's favorite game because he loved fighting alongside his best friend to defeat the evil Honey monster and save the princesses.

At the moment, Yugeyeom was menacingly waving around his sword. It was a secret technique that scared the Honey Monster.

"Boo! Go 'way!" Yugeyeom shouts, but the monster was still attacking them.

"Oh no! Scary Monster!" Minhyuk shrieks in a fake panic. "Save us, brave knights!"

"Rawr!" the beast yells, adding in a little giggle at the end. "The Honey Monster will eat you all!"

Oh the hell he will!   
Nobody was eating the princesses as along as Changkyun was alive and kicking.

"We beat you, Honey!" Changkyun tells him and then points to Yugeyeom. "Use uppy 'tack!"

Youngjae, with his hands entwined with Minhyuk's, shakes his head at this whole fiasco. He would much rather be napping, but his baby brother looked like he was a ton of fun beating up Jooheon.

That is, until Jooheon tackled the boy to the ground and began attacking him with the deadly tickles.

Yugeyeom succumbs to the tickles easily, his laughter quickly filling up the room.

"Kyunnie!" he says in between breaths. "Help me! Honey gots me!"

Not even a second later, Changkyun lets out a heartfelt battle cry and jumps onto his brother's back.

There's this tiny spot on Jooheon's neck that, their Mommy discovered, was really ticklish. So in order to save his best friend, Changkyun the brave decided to attack there first.

Jooheon screams out, turning away from Yugeyeom to tumble to the ground.

The monster was defeated!

Minhyuk squeals and picks up Changkyun. "You did it!" he says, kissing his chubby cheeks. "You saved us!"

"What 'bout me, Minnie?" Yugeyeom pouts. "Yummy help, too!"

Truth be told, he didn't really care about whole game. There were kisses being handed out and he was being left out.

Youngjae knew and tried to give Yugeyeom his own kisses, but apparently Minhyuk gives the best kisses because Yugeyeom only wanted his.

"Minnie!" he whines as Minhyuk kept kissing Changkyun. "Minnie! Yummy kisses!"

In the end, Yugeyeom got the kisses.

But he was still upset that he had wait so damn long.

No baby should have to wait for kisses from Minhyuk!

Changkyun: 2

Yugeyeom: 1


	19. How (Not) To Love A Hippie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: Suicide Attempt, Depression, Drug Use

Despite all the shit he talked, Kihyun really did care about Jeonghan.

Throughout all of the years he'd known the hippie, he had always been there for Kihyun and his family whenever he needed it and he never asked for anything in return.

Not that he would ever admit it, but Kihyun was always so envious of the young man.   
How could any sane person not be?

Jeonghan still had his youthful beauty, even after giving birth to nine kids. On many occasions, whenever he and Jeonghan were out on the town together, Kihyun was asked who he had fucked to get a son that gorgeous.

Well, not exactly that question, but you get the idea. 

A guy, who was only a couple of years older than him, confused for his son? This is why he almost never went out with this guy.

Jeonghan also, seemingly, had the perfect family life. Him and Seungcheol had the most heartwarming little love story, which made Jinyoung and Kihyun cried after the beautiful man explained it for the first time.

A couple of years after Jeonghan's second failed marriage, he moved away from his home in Japan, spiraled into a deep depression, and started abusing hard narcotics. Most of his pain came from the fact that he had, yet again, lost his children in a rough custody battle.

"It was because I was a house-husband in both of my past marriages," he explained when Jinyoung had asked about it. "I didn't make my own money, therefore I was deemed unfit to take care of my kids. At least Junhui let's my oldest kids come down and visit from time to time. Mingyu won't let me see Seokmin or Wonwoo at all."

In his first marriage to Junhui, Jeonghan had three sons: Soonyoung, Minghao, and Jisoo.   
With Mingyu, he had two: Seokmin and Wonwoo.   
Currently, he and Seungcheol had four children: Hansol, Chan, Seungkwan, and Jihoon.

"Jesus," Kihyun gasped when finished counting off all of the kids. "Your fertility teas are for real, huh?"

Seungcheol first came into his life when he had knocked on his apartment door one evening. Jeonghan's mail had been put into his mailbox and Seungcheol felt that he should deliver it to him in person. 

When he had knocked Jeonghan's door, it swung wide open.

There, he saw his young neighbor lying unconscious in a pool of his own fluids.

Jeonghan had overdosed. 

When Jeonghan regained unconsciousness at the hospital, he looked at his saviour with a completely dead expression and asked him, "Why did you save me?"

After that, Seungcheol made it his mission to make sure that Jeonghan got better. He took it upon himself to move into Jeonghan's apartment and turn the man's living room into a makeshift bedroom for himself. 

Jeonghan had begged him to leave, but the elder man wouldn't have it. 

"He went into my apartment before I got back from the hospital and locked up all of my pill bottles, knives, and razors," Jeonghan chuckled as he told the story. "I remember punching him and cursing him to hell and back, but he just smiled at me. He said he'd rather see me ranting and raving than dead on the floor."

To say that Jeonghan's road to recover was bumpy would be the ultimate understatement. There were days where he wanted to give up and give in to his pills, but Seungcheol wouldn't let him. Sometimes, he would spend most of the day with his head in Seungcheol's lap, crying his eyes out. He would cry about his failed suicide, marriages, custody battles, life in general.

Seungcheol would just back and listen to it all, stroking at Jeonghan's hair while he held back tears of his own. 

After ten months of being clean, Seungcheol rewards Jeonghan by telling him that he was moving out of the apartment.   
By that point, Jeonghan had grown used to the elder's presence and was really reluctant to let him go.

"I asked him to kiss me instead. Never had I ever seen a man smile so hard in my life."

Seungcheol did kiss him, and he hadn't stopped since that day.

On their wedding day, which had fallen right on Christmas, Seungcheol had given him a gift better than anything he could've asked for.

Jeonghan, dressed beautifully in his white wedding suit, walked down the aisle and stopped dead in his tracks when he took a good look at who was sitting in the pews.

On his family's side of the room was Junhui, Minghao, Jisoo, and Soonyoung. He was already crying, but he full on bawled at the sight of who was right beside them.

Seokmin and Wonwoo.

"Mommy!" Seokmin squeals when he sees him. "Woowoo, look it's mommy!"

Jeonghan, overwhelmed by seeing his two youngest kids after nearly three years apart, drops to the floor in hysteria.

"Mingyu didn't show up, but I didn't expect him to. Nor did I care."

Jeonghan crawled on his knees to Seokmin and Wonwoo, crushing the two boys into a tight hug when he managed to reach them.

After the wedding, however, Jeonghan would never see them again.

"Promise me something," Jeonghan says to Seungcheol when it came time to say their vows.

"Anything," the man responded eagerly.

"If we don't work out, promise me that you'll take everything but the babies."

Seungcheol had immediately agreed, but that was because they had yet to have any kids together.

That was when Jeonghan handed over a special gift of his own:

A small black and white ultrasound picture.

"I was pregnant with Seungkwan at that time, but I hadn't told him yet. I think that was perfect timing, don't you?"

Jeonghan finished his story and his two listeners were left sobbing on his shoulder.

"Jeonghan, you're so brave," Jinyoung shrieked.

"A brave hippie," Kihyun agreed.

Jeonghan rolled his eyes. "You guys, I'm fine now. Honestly!"

Ever since he had heard that story, Kihyun made it his mission to be a better friend towards his hippie friend.

So when Jeonghan called him crying one afternoon, he was ready to spring into protective momma mode.

"Jeonghan? What's the matter?" Kihyun asks, already grabbing Hyunwoo's keys and texting Jinyoung.

"I..." the other had mumbled the last part of his sentence, so Kihyun hadn't heard him clearly.

"Say again? What's going on?"

"I lost, goddamn it!"

Kihyun jumped at sudden shout.   
Jeonghan had never cursed at him before and it honestly scared him.

"Just wait there, ok? Jinyoung and I will be right over."

After making sure that Hyunwoo was watching their sons and picking up his best friend, he drove over to Seungcheol and Jeonghan's house.

"What the hell did he mean by that?" Jinyoung asked when Kihyun relayed Jeonghan's brief message to him.

"That's what we're here to find out."

Seungcheol answered the door when the two damn near kicked it down.

"Where the fuck is he?" Kihyun asked immediately.

Seungcheol, whose eyes were red and puffy, cleared his throat and answered, "Upstairs in the second room on the right."

Kihyun and Jinyoung ran passed him and up the steps and followed the sounds of soft crying.

They carefully opened the door from where the sound was originating to see Jeonghan crying on his bed with little Chan wrapped tightly in his arms.

Chan noticed the newcomers and told them, "Mommy sad, Uncle Ki."

Jinyoung walks over to Jeonghan, whispers something into his ear, and swiftly pulls Jeonghan's youngest son away from him.

"Go downstairs with your daddy, ok?" Jinyoung tells the boy. "We'll take care of your mom."

The second that little Chan left the room, Kihyun and Jinyoung slid onto the bed beside Jeonghan. They both place their hands on the man's back and stroked him softly. 

Jeonghan spoke up after a little while.   
"I never stopped, you know?" He hiccuped.

"Stopped what, honey?" Jinyoung asked.

"Fighting Mingyu for my kids," he says. "I haven't stopped. Every year, every fucking year, I go to the courts to let them understand that I have a right to see my kids. And every year, I lose."

Kihyun had a feeling that this was what the other had meant, but that hadn't made it any less heart breaking. 

"I thought I had it this time," Jeonghan continues. "I told them that I had a job now, Seungcheol and I take care of our four other kids just fine. But then,"

Jeonghan cuts himself off with a rough breath, raking his fingers roughly through his hair.

"What happened?" Kihyun softly urges him on.

"Mingyu," he spits out the name bitterly. "He found out about my drug addiction. I've been clean for years, but the way he said it made it seem like I could jump back on it at any given moment."

Suddenly Kihyun wanted Mingyu's balls on a platter.

"They deliberated for an _hour_ and then they told me no!"

By this point, Jinyoung was sobbing quietly to himself.   
Kihyun was holding himself back for both of their sakes.

Someone had to be the strong minded one here.

"God, it hurt so bad," he continues. "To see him look so smug after those idiots made the rule in his favor. I almost relapsed."

An audible gasp could be heard from both of Jeonghan's friends.

"Jeonghan, no!" Jinyoung exclaims. "Please tell me you didn't."

Jeonghan immediately shakes his head. "When I started craving, I told Seungcheol to lock everything up just like before. That's when I called Kihyun."

There was a brief moment of silence where both men let Jeonghan grieve over his loss.

Then, Kihyun added his input.

"I swear on my soul, hippie," he starts off, tone so completely normal that Jinyoung had to glare at him a little bit. "If this is your giving up speech, I'm gonna fucking strangle you!"

Surprisingly, Jeonghan sits right up and weakly shoves at Kihyun's chest.

"Well what I am supposed to do?" He cried. "I haven't seen my babies in seven years, and I never-!"

"That!" Kihyun interrupts him with a humorless laugh. "You hear that? That is what that son of a bitch wants. He wants you to give up. He gets off on watching you sit back and sulk in your failure. You will not give him that satisfaction!"

Jeonghan whines. "But, Kihyun-!"

"But nothing! You will not stop trying, alright? Don't you think that those boys miss you? What would they say if they knew you'd given up on them?"

Jinyoung shook Kihyun's shoulder, as if to tell him to stop his little speech without using his words.

"You're right," Jeonghan says, looking has though he was holding back another fit of sobs. "They need me, right? They'll come back to me, right?"

"Yes!" Jinyoung finally speaks up. "You've got to keep believing that and it will happen."

Jeonghan wraps his arms around both Kihyun and Jinyoung, squeezing the life out of both of them.

"Ok," Kihyun rasps, feeling really uncomfortable. "I love you, too, but can we not get strangled today?"

"Just let him do it, ok?" Jinyoung says, slapping at whatever part of his friend that he could reach. "He needs this."

"Hey, hey hippie," Kihyun ignores Jinyoung and tries to distract his captor. "Why don't you tell us about Wonwoo and Seokmin? We really wanna know what you remember about them."

Right that second that, Jeonghan released them from his hold and jumped off of the bed. Kihyun and Jinyoung watched with confused expressions as he slithered under the bed and reemerged with four large photo albums.

One set was titled "Seokmin", and the other "Wonwoo."

"Wonwoo was my little bumblebee," he started off, opening the first Wonwoo album.

Jinyoung and Kihyun both smile at how Jeonghan's face lit up when he talked about his boys.   
They knew from experience, because who wouldn't spend eighty hours bragging about their kids, that would take a long while, but they were willing to sit through it all.

They both have loved the hippie, after all. 


End file.
